The Nobel Prize in Medicine - In Vitro Pioneer Wins

Wow, it's been a while since I have blogged. We've been crazy busy with adoptions and distractions lately. Before adopting, many of our families go through in vitro procedures, among other infertility options. This technology has enabled 4 million infants to be born, who otherwise would not be here. In fact, surprisingly, today the odds of a pregnancy occurring after just one in vitro cycle are approximately the same (one in five) as a fertile couple trying to conceive naturally. That's pretty amazing when you consider that the first "test tube" baby, Louise Brown, was born in 1978, during our lifetime. The technique has evolved quickly into a viable option for infertile couples or single women who want to conceive. Of course, there are ethical issues as well, which stem from what to do with the leftover fertilized eggs, age of the mother, and stem cell issues. Regardless of how those questions get answered, it is the research of Dr. Robert Edwards, in vitro pioneer, and his partner, the late Patrick Steptoe, which enabled 4 million families to have the children they so desperately wanted. This past week, the Nobel Prize in medicine went to Dr. Edwards. He is now a professor emeritus at the University of Cambridge and is 85 years old. Too often, people are not recognized during their lifetime for achievements that affect others so profoundly. I'm glad Dr. Edwards got his Nobel while he is still alive. Congratulations to Dr. Edwards, all of his patients who have successfully conceived, and the babies who are here because of him.

California Tightens Sex Offender Laws - Justice for Chelsea

California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is set to sign Assembly Bill 1844, "Chelsea's Law". Yesterday, the California Assembly unanimously passed the bill that will enact one of the nation's toughest sex offender laws on the books. It's about time. Both Chelsea King and Amber Dubois were killed by registered sex offender, John Albert Gardner III. Amazingly, despite being a registered sex offender and sporting a tracking bracelet, Gardner roamed freely around Southern California stalking victims, after serving time for another violent crime against a child. He should have been monitored. In my opinion, he should never have been released. Both Amber and Chelsea would have been alive today had he been kept behind bars. Our local Senator, Dennis Hollingsworth, has authored a bill which passed unanimously today in the senate. This bill, S85, will help families preserve the memories of their slain children. It is called the "Deceased Child Victims Protection and Privacy Act". Under this bill, the gruesome details of a child's murder and autopsy results can be sealed by the victim's family. If a family has lost a child in a perverse killing, they have every right to privacy. I can't imagine, as a mother, turning on the t.v. to see my child portrayed as a victim of sexual torture and abuse. It would be nearly as devastating as the murder itself.

New laws proposed in California require a checklist for police to follow during missing child investigations, reduce the reporting time to get authorities working on the case, and provide for a Director of Missing Child Operations, a new position in the State Attorney General's office. All of these new laws will go into effect in January, 2011. Governor Schwarzenegger will sign them all. He has stated "I am committed to protecting our children and keeping our communities safe from the threat of sexual predators, and Chelsea's Law will help to do that by creating harsher penalties on those that prey on children". I don't think the penalties could ever be harsh enough, but California is leading the way in passing laws that actually have teeth. Chelsea's Law mandates life sentences for those who commit violent sex crimes against children. No three strikes. One strike, and it's life behind bars, just as it should be. The recidivism rates for sex crimes are so high that repeat offenders are a given. In my view, a death sentence wouldn't be too harsh, but putting them in jail and throwing away the key is going to protect children from what Chelsea and Amber and their families have gone through.

If you go to the Megan's Law website and look up the sex offenders in your neighborhood and in your city, you will be astounded. They are everywhere. Time to get them out of our neighborhoods and into jail where they belong. There is no more heinous crime than a sex crime against a child.

What's in a Name?

All parents-to-be think about and sometimes obsess about baby names. The social security administration has tracked baby names for decades. Some of the most popular boy names -- Jacob, Ethan, and Michael -- or girl names -- Isabella, Emily, and Emma -- appear on the list time after time. There are some names which are becoming more popular as we speak, such as Mia, Chloe, Jayden, and Noah. There is also a trend by celebrities and others to pick original names -- names that very few others would have, such as Titan, Shiloh, Suri, Apple, Rumer, and Puma. Whether popular or unusual, a child will have to live with the name chosen for them for the rest of their lives -- or at least until they are old enough to change it. A study from the University of Oldenburg (and previous other studies) revealed that from the moment they read a school register, teachers have a pre-conceived notion about the child and unfair prejudices result. And it's not just teachers that have those prejudices. Traditional names are consistently linked to strong performance and good behavior. Non-traditional names are linked to poor performance and bad behavior. It's conceivable that if two children are talking or disrupting the class, the one who has the non-traditional name will be the one accused of causing the problem, regardless of which actually did.

In Germany, the name "Kevin" has a negative connotation. One study participant stated that "Kevin is not a name -- it's a diagnosis". This is how deep the prejudices against certain names run. In another study, children of equal intelligence were taught by the same teachers over a several year period. The performance of African American children with unusual names declined, while the others achieved. If teachers do not believe in the potential of students and give up on them, then their performances will decline. Such prejudices can have a drastic impact on the life and future of a child.

What then, do you think would happen if someone named their child "Lucifer" or "Damien"? What about "Chastity, Satana, or Madonna" for a girl? Unusual and difficult to spell names, specifically African names like Chiamaka, Narkeasha, Jevonte, or blended names like Kenesha, Marquesha, or Jamanda might all be names that would influence others in terms of their opinion of that child. Stereotypes are never good, but we know people tend to stereotype and unusual names could lend to that.

In one study, women with desirable names were considered more physically attractive. In another study, a group of teachers and teachers assistants were asked to grade a number of tests and essays. Unknown to the assessors, they were each marking the same essay under different names. The unconventional names scored much lower across the boards. There is evidence to suggest that children with "made up names" don't do as well at school and don't have as much success. If it is assumed (incorrectly, of course) that a child with an unusual or misspelled name comes from a family that is uneducated, that child may be discriminated against and it may be assumed that the intelligence of that child is lower than that of his or her peers.

When considering names, consider the consequences. You don't have to choose the most popular baby names, but check them out and make sure that they aren't so unusual or difficult to spell that a child will have to defend their name or spell it for everyone from teachers to team captains. The image a name brings forth is important for the success of that child.

Apply a few rules to naming a child; 1) Don't tell people about the name you are considering for your child. Everyone will have an opinion, 2) Choose a name for success, rather than a name for your own edification, 3) Have a few names you like, but wait until you meet the baby before you choose a name.

You can't personally educate everyone in the world about what your special name means. Choose something that automatically has good associations. This will benefit your child.

Methamphetamine Use in Pregnancy

Having worked in Labor and Delivery and the field of adoption, over the years I have attended many deliveries. No matter how many I see, it's still a very emotional, touching time when a child comes into the world. A couple of weeks ago, I was able to attend a delivery locally. After months of being matched, birth mom and adoptive couple were more than ready to have a baby. The delivery itself pretty much went off without a hitch. Everyone who needed to be present was there. The adoptive father just made it with less than a half hour to spare, but was there to see a beautiful baby girl enter the world. The baby who would call him "Daddy". The pictures I took of the adoptive parents holding their new baby said it all -- complete with tears of joy and shock that they had just become parents.

Right after delivery, the baby was quickly bundled up and covered to keep her warm. Once she was passed around the room and everyone had a chance to say hello, she was taken to the warmer to be unbundled, weighed, measured, and bathed. It was then that I heard the nursery nurse softly say to another nurse, "Have you ever seen that?". "No" was the answer. These were seasoned nurses and I knew that there was likely an anomaly. I made my way over to the warmer to check and see what they were talking about. This beautiful baby girl, born only moments earlier, had a condition called "microtia", in which the outer ear is not formed and there is no external auditory canal opening. Upon hearing that there was a problem, the birth mother stated, "I did this to her -- it's my fault". While everyone in the room heard the comment, it didn't register right away. Did she do this to the baby?

Earlier in the pregnancy, when the birth mom came to my office, she was excitable, fidgety, nervous, and couldn't sit still. She was scratching repeatedly and at that time I was concerned about Methamphetamine use and asked her. She stated openly that both she and the birth father had used drugs, including Methamphetamine, in the past, but that she was not using it currently. The adoptive parents and I had talked often and openly about the possibility.

After the birth, the adoptive parents wanted to get home and have the baby evaluated at the earliest possible moment and once they were free to leave the state and go home, they immediately made appointments with doctors at a medical center not far from their home, considered one of the top children's hospitals in the country. Thankfully, there are specialists there who are very experienced in treating this condition. Upon meeting with the doctor, the first question asked was "Was there Methamphetamine use during the pregnancy?".

The stats are staggering. 40% of all active drug users in the U.S. are Meth addicts. They outnumber alcoholics and pot smokers by far. Who are meth users? Anyone. Students use it to stay up late and study. It helps them stay awake and presumably to concentrate. Others just enjoy the high of being on speed. Women often try it to lose weight. You lose weight and more. You lose the ability to make rational decisions. You lose your job and your financial freedom. You can lose your family and friends. You can lose your life.

What effect does Meth us have on a developing fetus? In women who are pregnant and use Meth, risks to the fetus include premature delivery, low birth weight, cerebral infarctions (resulting from reduced blood flow to the fetal brain or by direct toxic effects), congenital anomalies (including cleft lip/palate, microcephaly, microtia, coloboma of the iris, choanal atresia, and cardiac defects). In addition, neonates affected by maternal Methamphetamine use may exhibit abnormal reflexes, extreme irritability, increased muscle tone, tremors, lethargy, poor feeding, and abnormal sleep.

We haven't seen many Meth babies, but the most common risk in using Meth during pregnancy is prematurity. When mothers use Meth during pregnancy, they can go into labor early, and it is difficult (if not impossible) to stop the early labor with traditional methods. If a baby is born too early and with insufficient lung maturity, that fact alone can cause death or many other complications.

When a baby is born with unexpected complications and an adoption is pending, there is a moment of pause and consideration for the challenges about to take place in taking care of a special needs infant. I was impressed when this couple immediately took on the challenge and never waivered, at least outwardly, in their commitment to adopt this child. Initial shock was replaced by quiet resolve. This baby will get the best medical care possible. It's going to be a bit of an uphill battle. Her surgery can't take place for years, so she must be fitted with a special band around her head which will enable her to make out sounds. Because "hearing aids" are not covered by insurance, it will be a $2,000.00 out of pocket medical expense for her parents. Certainly, this is just the beginning. But they are committed to giving their daughter a wonderful life and all of the benefits modern medicine has to offer. Mom is a nurse. I've always said that I believe there are no accidents and babies always seem to find the right home. This situation, while uncommon, is no exception. She is where she needs to be.

Methamphetamine is the most used illicit drug of our day. It is so highly addictive that we are going to see more and more people addicted over time. While studies are relatively new and there isn't a lot of long-term data, we don't know what we don't know. There may be many more complications we haven't yet seen. Alcohol has long been considered the worst drug for a gestating baby. Methamphetamine may be just as dangerous when used during critical times during pregnancy. I realize that those who are addicted are going to have a difficult time when told not to do it during pregnancy. However, if you are going to go through and entire pregnancy to preserve the life of that child and also to go through with an adoption plan with an adoptive family, remind yourself that one day of Meth use, a few drinks at the wrong time during gestation, or any exposure at all can cause irreversible damage.

Note: While researching the effects of Methamphetamine, I came across many terms that are used to put a name to the drug. The terms in use are "meth, crystal meth, speed, chalk, go fast, tina, ice crystal, and glass". Can you imagine my horror? I don't want my name associated with anything so sinister and harmful. So, if you're ever referring to "Methamphetamine", please don't call it "Tina".

Depo Provera - Birth Control or Fertility Drug?

As you might imagine in adoption, birth control and fertility issues are often topics of discussion in my world. Over the past few years, I have observed that most birth moms weren't irresponsible or careless. Their birth control method simply failed. Which method seems to fail the most? By a landslide, Depo Provera. I have often joked that with a little tweaking, it could become the next fertility drug. Whenever I am contacted by a birth mom who wants to make an adoption plan, we discuss everything - from the timing of the pregnancy and the birth father, to her future plans and birth control. Much of the time, there was an effort to prevent pregnancy. In the literature, it says that Depo Provera is 97% effective in prevention of pregnancy. I'm not sure why, then, a preponderance of birth moms who call have been on it. It would seem that the 97% figure isn't even close to the true percentages. A friend of mine went on Depo for a short period of time. She experienced one of the many listed side effects, bleeding during the course of the medication. The Depo shot is administered every three months. My friend experienced moderate bleeding for the entire three months. She said it was like having a period the whole time. So, then, it's no wonder it should be a successful form of birth control. It's not surprising that a woman wouldn't feel like participating in the kind of activities that would cause pregnancy while consistently bleeding. However, for those who are able to tolerate it and are sexually active, it seems that pregnancy is a real risk. The other side effects of Depo Provera are abdominal pain or discomfort, weight changes, headache, asthenia (weakness or fatigue), and nervousness -- all symptoms which can also be attributed to pregnancy, and which mask a pregnancy should it occur. I know a few babies who are testimony to that.

One study found an association between using Depo-Provera and higher incidence of chlamydia and gonorrhea. I'm not sure how other methods of birth control fared in terms of sexually transmitted diseases, but it's apparent that women who are on birth control seem to get a feeling of security about not getting pregnant that also crosses over to sexually transmitted diseases. Obviously, that's where condoms are a better choice. They are, according to the literature, when used correctly, almost as effective as Depo. In reality, I believe they are much safer in terms of preventing pregnancy, and certainly safer than other methods for preventing STD's.

It would be interesting to see a current research study done on unplanned pregnancies which include the forms of birth control used and the failure rates of each. In the meantime, if you want to get pregnant, try Depo Provera. It seems to work.

Happy 4th of July

4th of July has always been a little bittersweet to me. As a child, I loved the fireworks and hated the effect they had on the animals. As an animal lover, I was worried about my pets and those of others when they got scared and panicked at the sound of fireworks and explosions on the 4th. I was raised in Oklahoma, where "safe and sane" (how sane?) fireworks were all the rage. I learned young that more animals are lost during that time than most other times of the year. As an adult, I celebrated the 4th for my children. Both of my parents passed (24 and 22 years ago)just before 4th of July. They were laid to rest on July 3 (my Mom) and July 5 (my Dad). My Dad passed away of cancer on July 1, just 11 days before my brother's wedding. It was a joyous day couched in sadness.

My Dad was a cool guy. He was all that a Dad should be. He was a great story teller -- one of those rare few who could command the attention of even fidgity little ones for long periods of time as he described in flowery detail his childhood in the Depression and World War II battles in Okinawa and Guadalcanal, where he was shot and wounded, only to go back into battle and be shot again. He saw many of his buddies die as they landed on the beach to take the island of Okinawa from the Japanese. He saw enough death to truly respect life. He survived all that. He was a Marine. He was a tough guy, and fair. He liked justice. He also liked babies and animals. He loved holding babies. He didn't care whose baby it was -- babies made him smile. Whether a genetic trait or acquired, I guess I got that from him. He called every baby he came in contact with "Squeaky". He'd see one passing in a stroller and say, "Hi Squeaky!". Kids loved him too. They gravitated towards him like magnets. He was easy to talk to, non-judgmental and, as a teenager, even when I didn't think he was cool, all of my friends did. When a cousin ran away from home, and didn't seem to trust any adults, she called him to come get her. He worked at a large market and more than once brought home kids who were scavenging for discarded and expired food in the dumpsters behind the store. We didn't have much, but our door was always open to kids who needed help. I remember one named Celeste. He brought her home a few times. She sought to escape from a violent home life and would come to us with black eyes and bruised ribs, hungry and tired. One time she slept for almost three days. She never asked for anything, but accepted help when she needed it and then went on her way. I heard years later that my Dad had gone to her house and told her father that if he ever did that again, he'd beat him so badly that no one would recognize him -- and he meant it.

My Dad enjoyed bowling and introduced my brother and I to that sport and we enjoyed it too (so much that my brother was able to go pro later on). We'd spend hours bowling or score keeping (back in the day when a kid could earn a few bucks doing that). One of our friends from the bowling alley came in one day and said he'd been kicked out of his home. He was a good student and had a friend who would let him stay at his home, but had no transportation. He asked my Dad to co-sign on a motorcycle. I heard my Dad say to him, "I will co-sign for you, but if you miss one payment or can't show me good grades and an insurance card, I will take the bike." Firm but fair. Ron told me later on how much that meant to him.

When my Dad died and we had the funeral, it was a small sort of intimate group, perhaps only about 60 people in attendance. But every one of them had a story. One girl came up to me and said, "I couldn't have gone to school if it weren't for your Dad. He paid for my books." I knew my Dad was a good guy, but the fact that other people knew it too was very heartwarming. He was not a wealthy man, but whatever he had he always shared. He was just my Dad. He died July 1, 1986. So the 4th of July is a little bittersweet. I miss him, but he gets to see all the fireworks from Heaven. Happy 4th of July.

Adoption Book Review - The Best For You

Often times I am asked by adoptive parents how they should tell their child they were adopted. Rather than having a specific moment or an event that ends up being "that moment" when they found out they were adopted, I tell them to read books, tell the adoption story, look at pictures and always talk about it when they are little. Always, the conversation should be age-appropriate. Answer any questions they have in the most honest and positive way you can. That way, when they get older and someone asks, "When did you find out you were adopted?", the response is generally, "I always knew".

The bigger question becomes, "Why?". I recently came across a book that was written by a birth mother from that perspective, so a child can understand why they were placed for adoption. It's a good book to use to introduce the topic. It is called "The Best For You" and was written and illustrated by Kelsey Stewart, who has placed two children and is the parent of two more. In it, she explains that "Adoption is God's love given twice". This book is written for small children and lets them know that adoption is all about love. The book ends with the line "Adoption means I wanted the best for you". It's a positive look at adoption that a child can understand.

If you have an adopted child and want a good bedtime story or positive reinforcement for adoption, you should have a copy of this book on your bookshelf. You may order it on Amazon on this site.