What's in a Name?

All parents-to-be think about and sometimes obsess about baby names. The social security administration has tracked baby names for decades. Some of the most popular boy names -- Jacob, Ethan, and Michael -- or girl names -- Isabella, Emily, and Emma -- appear on the list time after time. There are some names which are becoming more popular as we speak, such as Mia, Chloe, Jayden, and Noah. There is also a trend by celebrities and others to pick original names -- names that very few others would have, such as Titan, Shiloh, Suri, Apple, Rumer, and Puma. Whether popular or unusual, a child will have to live with the name chosen for them for the rest of their lives -- or at least until they are old enough to change it. A study from the University of Oldenburg (and previous other studies) revealed that from the moment they read a school register, teachers have a pre-conceived notion about the child and unfair prejudices result. And it's not just teachers that have those prejudices. Traditional names are consistently linked to strong performance and good behavior. Non-traditional names are linked to poor performance and bad behavior. It's conceivable that if two children are talking or disrupting the class, the one who has the non-traditional name will be the one accused of causing the problem, regardless of which actually did.

In Germany, the name "Kevin" has a negative connotation. One study participant stated that "Kevin is not a name -- it's a diagnosis". This is how deep the prejudices against certain names run. In another study, children of equal intelligence were taught by the same teachers over a several year period. The performance of African American children with unusual names declined, while the others achieved. If teachers do not believe in the potential of students and give up on them, then their performances will decline. Such prejudices can have a drastic impact on the life and future of a child.

What then, do you think would happen if someone named their child "Lucifer" or "Damien"? What about "Chastity, Satana, or Madonna" for a girl? Unusual and difficult to spell names, specifically African names like Chiamaka, Narkeasha, Jevonte, or blended names like Kenesha, Marquesha, or Jamanda might all be names that would influence others in terms of their opinion of that child. Stereotypes are never good, but we know people tend to stereotype and unusual names could lend to that.

In one study, women with desirable names were considered more physically attractive. In another study, a group of teachers and teachers assistants were asked to grade a number of tests and essays. Unknown to the assessors, they were each marking the same essay under different names. The unconventional names scored much lower across the boards. There is evidence to suggest that children with "made up names" don't do as well at school and don't have as much success. If it is assumed (incorrectly, of course) that a child with an unusual or misspelled name comes from a family that is uneducated, that child may be discriminated against and it may be assumed that the intelligence of that child is lower than that of his or her peers.

When considering names, consider the consequences. You don't have to choose the most popular baby names, but check them out and make sure that they aren't so unusual or difficult to spell that a child will have to defend their name or spell it for everyone from teachers to team captains. The image a name brings forth is important for the success of that child.

Apply a few rules to naming a child; 1) Don't tell people about the name you are considering for your child. Everyone will have an opinion, 2) Choose a name for success, rather than a name for your own edification, 3) Have a few names you like, but wait until you meet the baby before you choose a name.

You can't personally educate everyone in the world about what your special name means. Choose something that automatically has good associations. This will benefit your child.

November - National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month! How will you celebrate? There are some things you can do to help educate and promote adoption awareness such as;

* Buy a few children's books on adoption and donate them your local library or school.
* Talk to local librarians about reading adoption stories in reading groups to make children more aware of adoption.
* Discuss with teachers the difficulties faced by adoptive children when faced with assignments that can cause them grief ("How do I fill out a family tree when I don't know?"). Make them aware of how certain discussions can make adopted children feel uncomfortable.
* Talk with elementary school administrators and ask them to acknowledge National Adoption Month in classrooms and open dialogue with students concerning adoption.
* Share with adopted children the positive aspects of adoption and make note of famous people who have been adopted. Note their accomplishments and let them know that they can be anyone they want to be.
* Call your local newspaper, radio, or t.v. channel and make them aware of National Adoption Month. Ask if they are planning an article or discussion and offer to help with information.
* Honor birth mothers by sending a card of thanks and remember them in your prayers.

Find teachable moments to explain the adoption process and the difference between birth families and adoptive or "forever" families to teachers or clergy. Share that adopted children have two families who love them very much. Don't assume that just because someone is in a position of teaching that they already know about adoption -- many don't. Use National Adoption Month to make those around you aware of how powerful adoption is and what a difference it makes in the lives of those who participate in the triad. We all know someone who was adopted and adoption has literally touched everyone's life. Perhaps a good assignment for the teachers out there would be to have their students write a short essay on "How Adoption Touched My Life". I bet there would be a lot of great stories to share!