It's Happening in Haiti

What can I say about the situation in Haiti? It's mind-boggling and atrocious. Looking from the perspective of a helicopter over the scene, it is rubble -- each house and building pancaked like the next. It would be a huge challenge for a community in our country to overcome. How can the Haitians, who had nothing to begin with, recover from this? Listening to the news last night, I was struck by the fact that in Port au Prince, a city of two million, even before the quake there was not even one ambulance. Perhaps this quake was a wake up call to the rest of us that, even in modern times, people are living without the very basic necessities. We have to help. We are all really one nation - the nation of humanity. I am glad to see that the powers of the world are coming together to help this island nation, but saddened that it is taking too long. During the interim, people are dying. There are people still, almost a week later, trapped alive in some of those buildings. Some are uninjured in elevators or supermarket refrigerators or bank vaults -- the only fortified portions of the buildings that collapsed. I think it might be more horrifying to live for a week without someone coming to help you than it would be to die in the initial quake. It's happening.

This could happen here. I live in California, on the ring of fire. We have earthquakes often. They are small tremors and an occasional sizable shaker, but when the San Andreas fault ruptures, we will have widespread devastation. Perhaps it won't be like Haiti because our building codes are better, but when and 8.0 hits (100 times stronger than the 7.0 that hit Haiti), building codes aren't going to matter much. This could be us. Can you imagine having a baby in the circumstances that are now going on in Haiti? It's happening.

The orphanages in Haiti were understaffed and ill-equipped to begin with. Now, there are children living in the street, sleeping in the street, with nothing to eat or drink. There are no diapers. Can you imagine two young American girls in their early 20's managing an entire orphanage and trying to care for 50 children under these circumstances. It's happening.

I want to urge everyone who reads this to write and phone and e-mail your congresspeople, representatives, and senators. Donate money if you have it, but that's not enough. We need to get the orphans out of Haiti and to a place of shelter. Whether it is for permanent adoption or just for the time being so that they will be safe and won't have to look at the dead in the streets and the dogs who are eating the corpses because they aren't being fed either. At the moment, Haiti is Hades. It's Hell on earth. Awful things that most of us can not imagine are happening. Children should not have to endure such hell. There has been some assistance and a few of the children have been given permission to leave. All adoption paperwork has been lost, but there are families waiting to take those children and love them. What is more important -- paperwork or lives? Thousands of people are being placed in mass graves and no one will ever know who they are or where some disappeared to. That paperwork will never exist. So why not get the orphans out now, with or without paperwork? That's the humanitarian thing to do. Children are dying in Haiti. Some died during the earthquake, but many will die after it without the food, shelter, and medical care that is needed. It's happening.

Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children - Also known as ICPC

When you finally get that all-important call and your baby is being born, it's likely that you'll be leaving your state and going to where the birth mother is giving birth. This is an exciting time! Once you get to the hospital, you will be bonding with baby and spending time with birth mom while she is in the hospital. Once everyone is discharged, you will take the baby to a hotel and wait. After the birth mother has left the hospital, she will meet with an attorney or social worker and sign her relinquishment documents. In some states, this must occur before a judge (requiring some scheduling). This may take a couple of days. Once the documents are signed, your legal representative (attorney or agency) will submit the ICPC paperwork along with your adoption documents and home study to the state ICPC office. This is usually done via fax or overnight mail and is quick. Once the office gets the documents, there are a number of factors that will determine how long it will take them to give approval. Nothing will happen on weekends. In addition, they may (or may not) have a heavy caseload. ICPC officials are usually as prompt as possible in getting to your paperwork and will review it as soon as they can. Once reviewed, if they have questions or concerns, those will be addressed, and then the approval will usually happen within a short period of time. Once you get approval from the "sending" state, where the baby was born, your own "receiving" state, or home state, will also have to review the documents and approve. Again faxing or overnighting the paperwork is generally the method used to expedite things and within 48-72 hours, your own state will likely approve the documents (which have already been approved by the sending state and are merely reviewed).

The total wait time for ICPC could be anywhere from 4 or 5 working days to a couple of weeks, depending upon where weekends and holidays fall, and how many cases are being handled by the state office at that time. This is a time when families get anxious to go home and want to speed things up. While this is understandable, it's not a good idea to try to call the ICPC office yourself, have relatives call, or call your local congressman or senator to intervene on your behalf. This may do more harm than good. There is generally a limited number of staff in the ICPC office (1-3) and they are working as hard as they can to get to everyone. It will only delay their ability to review cases (yours included) if you tie them up on phone calls explaining why they haven't been able to get to your case before.

Once you are cleared to go home, your attorney or agency will call you and let you know. You don't have to be confined to a hotel room in the meantime. You can explore your surroundings and do a little sightseeing or get out and have a nice dinner or lunch together. Remember that this is very valuable time with your newborn. It may be the only quiet alone-time you have to bond. After you get home, you'll have relatives and visitors coming and going and you may wish you had that time back. So, smell the roses (okay so diapers aren't so rosy!) and relax and enjoy the time you have with your newborn. Check out their parts, watch them sleep, photograph them and send e-mails with details! Soon, you'll be back at home and work and there will be no time to just enjoy quiet time gazing at your baby.