With the popularity of the newer reality shows on teen motherhood like MTV's 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom, some people believe that teen motherhood is being glamorized and that more teens will become pregnant. Only time will tell if these programs will have an impact on teen pregnancy, but most states, including California, are reporting a reduction in teen births in their latest statistics (from 2009). In California, the birth rate dropped to a new low, falling from 35.2 for every 1,000 teens in 2008 to 32.1 in 2009. That is mirroring the national birth rate, which has continued to decline over the past two years, presumably due to the economy. Our national birth rate is the lowest since the Great Depression, which is a significant statistic. In addition, abortions are up. With fewer pregnancies and more abortions, it necessarily follows that there are fewer adoptions.
Interestingly, while the birth rate among Latino teens dropped more than other groups, the Latino birth rate is still the highest among all ethnicities in California. At 50.8 per 1,000 Latino teens, Latino girls are at high risk for becoming pregnant as teens.
Teen motherhood is anything but glamorous. There is a higher rate of abuse among teen mothers and there are many negative consequences to the children of young moms. Typically fathers disappear or were never involved from the beginning. Financial resources are few, and teen moms rarely get a chance to continue their education and go on to college. Their own childhood cut short, they don't get to experience some of the rites of passage that their peers do -- from prom to date nights to sorority parties and meeting new and interesting friends at college.
Why then, do more teens not consider adoption? I think peer pressure is the answer. I have worked with teen moms who knew that they couldn't parent properly and wanted to go to college or into the military and they were harangued by their peers. "What kind of mother are you?" or "How could you give your baby away?" are some of the things said to young ladies I know who had made the best decision for their children. "It's hard enough to give up your child without having to defend that decision", said Rachel, one of our former birth moms. She was right. If that was the right decision for her and she wasn't hurting anyone and her baby was going to a good home, why should anyone try to make her feel guilty for opting to give herself and her child a better future? Teens can be vicious and judgmental. The fact is, they don't see the big picture. Not until they have tried to parent will they understand how difficult such an undertaking can be as a teen with no foundation or resources. When a young mom opts to place her child for adoption, rather than aborting that child, she is taking a big risk that her peers will condemn her and she will be ostracized. Why, then, is killing a child more acceptable? Teens empathize with their peers who have undergone an abortion and they support them. Yet, when adoption is discussed, they present a whole new attitude. It's as if, once you have decided to give birth, you are expected to deal with the consequences. It's almost a punishment. If you choose adoption over abortion, you are somehow the bad guy.
Teens need to start supporting their peers and there needs to be more mentorship by others who have gone through adoption, parenting, and abortion. I can tell you from counseling abortion survivors that it's no picnic. There is guilt and remorse, and fear of retribution (by a higher power). It is revisited once they have children later on and realize with full clarity just what has happened and that they can not bring that life back. It's tragic when our society has become more tolerant of abortion than adoption. There are unplanned pregnancies, but there are no unwanted children. I have homes for them all.
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