Adoption Issues - The Economic Impact on Adoption

Over the 15 years I have been doing adoptions, private independent adoption has changed a great deal. Part of that may just be evolution, but the economy has played a huge part in changing the scope of domestic adoption. Many of us involved in adoptions believed that with a poor economy, we would have more adoptions. Birth mothers who were having trouble with finances would have to face some tough decisions with the economy getting worse and worse. On the contrary, what actually happened was that the birth rate went down and the abortion rate went up. While current statistics are showing an increase in teen pregnancy, not many teens actually place their babies for adoption. If they are not prepared to parent, their parents are typically young enough to help. Those who would be birth parents in a better economic time are simply opting not to get pregnant or to abort if they do. I think that someone who may have considered parenting and then realized that financially they couldn't do it, are not getting that far now. They know right up front that they can't do it financially (who can?), so they are more careful not to have an accidental pregnancy or they opt for the alternative. The actual birth rate today is at the lowest it has been since the great depression.

What does this mean? It means that independent private adoptions are slow everywhere. I just finished reading an article which detailed the closure of an adoption agency in England that had been in operation for 45 years. They just don't have the adoption rates that they used to have and they can't pay their bills or afford to stay in business. That has happened here too. Last year, some major adoption agencies closed their doors. One of them, Commonwealth Adoptions, had offices in multiple states and was a longstanding agency.

How has this impacted waiting families? Families are understandably distressed with the longer wait. Some are looking to multiple avenues, but are still hitting dead ends. All of our families will eventually adopt, but the waits are longer than they were in years past. That said, for every action there is an opposite -- a reaction. At some point, the economy will turn around, things will get back to normal and, if history is any indicator, we'll have a baby boom. (We're all waiting for that!)

One of the outcomes of this new economic situation is that women who never thought that they would place their children are facing such difficult financial times, they are placing older children. We have had a number of such placements over the past year and we are currently working on placing 3 year old twins. For those families waiting to adopt, some have opted to consider children older than newborn. There are many things to consider with older children that do not come into play with infants. More on older child adoption tomorrow...

Family Violence On The Rise

I am an avid reader of the newspaper and I admit to watching CNN and the news religiously. I guess I am a news junkie. I want to know everything that's going on and I want to know it now. There, I've said it. Since I have no wish to remedy my addiction, I subject myself to all the news -- good and bad. This can be a negative, since much of the news recently has been more negative than positive. It seems with money problems come psychological problems. With the economy tanking and jobs disappearing more and more people are turning violent or going on rampages. Just in this morning's paper -- one day -- there were multiple articles about familial violence. The report of a murder-suicide in California in which 6 family members were killed saddened me. Three small children were killed along with the adults in the family. One woman shot multiple times was able to escape and tell authorities what happened. The killer was a 40 year old man who shot his entire family before taking his own life. In another rampage, a man who was angry over his divorce went on a shooting spree in a North Carolina nursing home, killing residents and nurses. He was looking for his estranged wife who worked there. She managed to escape the planned attack. In Boston, a young man viciously took the life of his younger sisters, aged 17 and 5, with a kitchen knife. His 9 year old sister survived the attack with multiple stab wounds and has been hospitalized. In another case in Baltimore, a young woman admitted to starving her 1 year old to death because he refused to say "Amen" after his last meal. Amazingly, this was all on one page of the paper. I could go on.

It's quite disturbing to realize that families are destroying themselves. Violence seems to be the norm, rather than the exception to the rule. We all wonder, "What were they thinking?" or "What made them snap?", and then life goes on and we do nothing and the violence grows. People are obviously feeling helpless, alone, hopeless, and without faith. If you know anyone who is experiencing difficulties because of these tough economic times -- a job loss or a mortgage issue, let them know you care and that there is hope for recovery. During the Great Depression, stock brokers jumped from buildings in New York. Those were tough times too, but they didn't take their families with them. Now it seems that people are so alone that they don't want to die alone -- so they take their families with them. Everyone has a breaking point and it seems that many more people are reaching that point. Perhaps we need to pay better attention to who is suffering and try to lend a hand or an ear. A small effort to reach out is infinitely better than the regret that would come from thinking "What if..?". These families are our next door neighbors, our friends, and our co-workers. Our world has become a scary place when the safety and security of family is gone. I hope we can all make a difference, even for just one family.

The Economics of Abortion

The Associated Press today reported that pregnant women are seeking abortions in record numbers. There's no secret as to why this is occurring -- our economy is affecting everyone. Some women who even desired and planned a pregnancy have reconsidered due to their current financial issues. A record number of abortions were performed by Planned Parenthood of Illinois clinics in January. There is no way to get up to date statistics on abortions throughout the nation, but many private and government agencies are reporting a significant increase in the abortions requested. I learned something new by reading this article. There is actually an organization called the National Network of Abortion Funds, which helps pay for abortions for women who can't afford them. Then there is the National Abortion Federation. Why don't we have something similar for adoption? It's interesting that people will donate to take a life, but not to save one. I'm not faulting women for feeling as if they can't handle additional responsibilities, financial and otherwise. I'm simply saying that there is no excuse for the fact that life is not valued as much as "choice". Shouldn't it be supported at least as much as abortion, if not more so? There should be funds to support both adoption and single parenthood when finances are the only issue standing in the way of life or death for an unborn child. Prior to that, assistance obtaining birth control would eliminate part of the problem.

Additionally, the economy is affecting those who want to plan a family. Fear of losing jobs or not having enough money to make it through the recession is causing people not to plan to have a child that they would have chosen to have. Those who have made the choice of life for their child may not have insurance to cover maternity benefits. There is so much money being spent on the abortion industry. What if all that money went to help women complete their pregnancies and get through the tough times or place their child for adoption should they have that desire? I'm praying for all of the lives lost. Who would they have been?

Welcome Alec and the New Year!

It seems I have barely gotten used to writing "2008" and it's already December! We'll be writing "2009" before we know it. I am amazed at how quickly the year has passed. It's been quite a year. We've had good times and bad times. The economy seems to be at an all time low -- at least within our lifetime. And yet, life goes on, the cycle is unbroken. Loved ones pass away, people who are important to us vanish from our lives, and new babies are born. Our lives change and time marches on. Sometimes we look back and it's hard to believe it's just been a year because the landscape of our lives is so different than it once was. We find ourselves at crossroads where decisions are made to take one fork of the road or the other (we can go down radically different paths). Either way, we don't stay in the same place. Hopefully we end up in a better place for the decisions we've made. I am looking forward to 2009. I believe it will be a very good year for all of us. The economy will likely get better (could it really get worse?), and at A Labor of Love we have some plans to expand our footprints on the adoption world. It's been a generally slow year for adoptions, pretty much everywhere as far as I can tell. Some major adoption agencies have closed their doors. We're still here! For this, we are thankful. And every day brings new promise and more opportunity. This past week, we have been able to reflect on what we are thankful for. I am thankful for my clients, my friends, our birth mothers, and the ability to do the amazing work I have been fortunate enough to fall into. It's not always easy and it can be highly emotionally charged, but more often than not, we see miracles in the making. I see God's hand in my work every day, without fail. I know that I am blessed by being able to help (in some small way) to build families. In fact, I want to wish Alec Braden Summa a happy birthday! Alec was born here in California on 11-26-08, at 8 lbs., 6 oz. Since he was born on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, he was released from the hospital on Friday, the day after. His birth mother promptly went home on Friday, and on Saturday - three days after giving birth - cooked a Thanksgiving Dinner for her family and the adoptive family of little Alec. What a gift she gave -- and she just kept on giving. That's really a shining example of what Thanksgiving is all about. She was giving thanks to the adoptive family and they were giving thanks to her -- all were thankful for the birth of little Alec. He couldn't be more loved. He couldn't be more wanted. Everyone is blessed. That's what I mean about seeing God's hand in our work. Thanks, God! We're all grateful for your most recent miracle.