Hollywood Train Wrecks

We all know that Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck.  It's hard to imagine that time after time, judges let her slide.  In the recent jewelry theft case, had anyone else walked out of a jewelry store with a necklace -- any necklace, let alone one reportedly worth $2,500.00, they would have been immediately arrested.  In this case, it took months and even then, the crime was reduced to a misdemeanor, usually reserved for lower value items. She's been in front of four judges in the past year. This girl is literally crying out for help and attention and no one is really paying any attention at all.  It won't be surprising when she joins the list of Hollywood statistics who die of drug overdoses or reckless behavior.  After her day in court, once again, on Friday, she was sent to, and then immediately bailed out of, jail.  The defense is already filing an appeal.  Ironically, the prosecution is considering appealing the ruling as well.  The prosecution felt that there "was a clear abuse of discretion" on the part of the judge.  I feel the same way.  Why is it that high profile people seem to get away with things the rest of society doesn't?  And why should they?  We won't even talk about Charlie Sheen.  In the past, prison overcrowding has been the reason that Lindsay was released way early.  She didn't learn her lesson then and she's not likely to learn it now.  She is still crying out for someone to notice her pain and get her some help.  She is misguided, misdirected, and misunderstood.  Maybe people like Lindsay should feel the pinch where it hurts - in their pocketbook.  Maybe that would make her sit up and take notice. In this age of entitlement, why not levy fines that will help the system ease the overcrowding situations?  OJ, Charlie, Lindsay, Paris...they all abuse(d) the system and could contribute enough to make a difference.  Let's start hitting these people who have more money than common sense with hefty fines that can actually go to good use -- drug and alcohol treatment programs, additional prison facilities, and victim's rights funding.  They aren't going to do jail time anyway, and just maybe something good could come from all of these sad situations. Judges, what do you say?

Adoption Issues - Child Sexual Predators Have Rights Too

Dear Friends and Adoptive Parents:

One of our adoptive families needs your help. While we didn’t participate in this particular adoption, all of us who believe in adoption and the best interest of children should be concerned. This is the nightmare of any parent. Please do what you can to spread this message, ask for laws to be written or changed, notify the media if you have connections, send others to our blog, where it will be posted. Especially those of you in PA can help. This is urgent and needs your attention. Please share with any other adoptive parents or child advocates that you know. Feel free to e-mail Kristin (below) to let her know you are working behind the scenes on her family’s behalf. If each one of us makes a small effort, the result will be big.

Tina Tyra
Executive Director
A Labor of Love Adoptions

Please read this letter written by Kristin.

"To all those who care for children:

As I sit, in the quiet and peace of a spring evening, I am puzzled by what to write to move your hearts to join our fight. Just as I am about to close my laptop, frustrated, I simply look to our baby sleeping peacefully. Please picture in your mind a small baby, just months old, safe and loved in a secure home. She breathes in and out, oblivious to the wrongs in this world because right now she is loved without abandon. She is clean, happy, fed, maybe a little spoiled, and has an unbelievably bright future ahead of her. She smiles in her sleep, and I think to myself how blessed we are to have her in our lives. Her hair shines with a gleam of auburn by lamplight, and I think her eyes will be blue, like mine. I know in my heart that there is no difference between parenting a biological child and an adopted one. In this moment, the world seems right.

Now, picture another side of our country’s reality. Picture innocent children, being taken advantage of by the most despicable form of humanity; those who commit crimes against children. Picture our baby, who was so lovingly placed in our arms by her birth mother, taken away to a life which will very likely revolve around crime, drugs, sexual assault, and neglect. You may think to yourself, “This would never happen!” Think again, because it happens every day. It is a sad fact that our criminal justice system has not caught up to the explosion of child pornography, rape, assault, and molestation, partially due to the availability and anonymity found within the internet.

At this time in our country, we have a crisis. This crisis revolves around our children. The crimes against our most innocent, vulnerable citizens are on the rise, and our current criminal justice system is not equipped to deal with this new generation of criminals. We ask that you read our story, and contact your local lawmakers to push for new laws to protect our kids. Make phone calls, write letters, and speak out for those who can’t speak for themselves. Ask for laws that remove parental rights of those who have committed crimes against children such as rape, assault, and child pornography. Do you know that men who have raped and assaulted females under the age of 13 are walking the streets and claiming they have the right to seek sole physical custody of a child? Our child’s birth father has pleaded guilty to this and other crimes, and our criminal justice system seems to want to hand him a new victim on a silver platter, simply because he is the “biological” father. Let’s make a difference and save our baby and many others before we read about them as a tragedy in the newspaper or hear about it on television.

Our family has been waiting to adopt a baby for 3 ½ years. In January, we met with a birth mother who selected us to care for her baby. Her reasons were many, but two were primary concerns. First, she wanted the very best of everything for her baby, and at that time, she could not provide it. Secondly, she wanted to protect the baby from the birth father, who is a convicted sex offender on Megan’s List. We agreed to be the baby’s parents and waited in excited anticipation for the birth. Initially, when the birth father was first notified, he resisted the idea of the adoption, but after the baby was born he asked our attorney to come up to the jail where he was incarcerated and “talk about everything.” Our attorney told us that he knew we had the baby and did not resist. He asked her if we would send letter, pictures, and possibly even a DVD. He told her he was probably going to sign the papers when he got out the following the week.

Since that time, he has filed for custody, which forced our birth mother to revoke her consent. We presently still have physical custody of the baby. We are told by our attorney, that our chances are slim because we have no rights and he is the biological father, therefore, he has rights to his child. The rights of the baby or the birth mother are not being considered. We are currently in a court battle to hopefully gain “standing” so we can gain the rights of parents to fight for the baby’s best interests. Does it seem crazy to you that the current justice system allows a man who has raped children (by his own admission) and has multiple charges for crimes against children including child pornography, to file for custody of a baby girl? What good is Megan’s Law Website if we do not use it to protect the children? We are ready to fight the fight for our baby, alongside her birth mother, but really, who are we compared to a pedophile with parental rights? His rights supposedly supersede everyone’s, including the child’s best interest. He is supposed to be incarcerated again, in the near future, for child pornography and yet our fight for our baby continues, with his rights supposedly prevailing.

Please, picture that baby sleeping peacefully, and join us to help keep her happy and healthy. We ask you to please, contact your local representatives, lawmakers, and even news media. Write letters, make phone calls, pray, and spread the word that our children need protection from these predators. Ask them to create and push for laws to take away the rights of sex offenders to hurt more innocent victims. Stricter and more specific laws are needed for these types of crimes. Our dear ones must be protected. Please join us in our fight. If every person writes one letter and forwards this e-mail to just a few more people, we can make a difference. Our daughter and other babies need your help to keep them safe from sexual predators, biological or otherwise."

Sincerely,

Eric and Kristin
e-mail: awaitingfamily@hotmail.com

Adoption Is Forever

Last week, Nancy Hanson of Tennessee put her 7 year old adopted son, Justin, onto a plane to Russia with no more than a note and a goodbye. Upon landing in Russia, he showed up unannounced at the Child Protection Ministry. This set off an international investigation that may leave in limbo many American families who are already in the process of adopting in Russia. Russia has suspended adoptions to Americans until a new treaty is put into place with the U.S. Ms. Hansen, a single woman, defends her actions contending that the child was violent and she was concerned about her family's safety. The agency that assisted with the placement reported that as recently as February, they had spoken to Ms. Hanson and she had not indicated any problems. Ms. Hanson stated "It wasn't that he was just energetic and wearing us down, it was the violent tendencies and he had to be watched all the time". In my opinion, all children of that age must be "watched all the time". If he had violent tendencies at age 7, this is something that generally can be corrected with therapy.

There are conflicting stories. Ms. Hanson claims that once he learned English, Justin talked about being abused and beaten at the orphanage. Russian officials state that he has told them he was abused by his American family. He stated he was yelled at and his hair pulled. Ms. Hanson felt that the "final incident" that convinced her that she should send Justin back was when she caught him starting a fire with papers in his bedroom. That is a concern, but what child won't play with matches or lighters if they get the chance? They have to be taught not to do those things and this boy never had a chance. I find it telling that he had access to anything that would start a fire or that he wasn't supervised to the point of having time and means to do such a thing. Instead of a learning experience, this became another lesson in abandonment.

The U.S. government is troubled and is doing everything they can to repair the relationship with Russia's Child Protection Ministry and to minimize the damage our citizens have sustained to their reputations. Russians are viewing Americans as monsters who would callously abandon children. Investigators will have to determine if Ms. Hanson committed a crime. In my view, she did. Child abandonment, child endangerment, and many other child welfare laws may have been broken. Beyond that, she has broken a child's heart. Ms. Hanson had many options, including therapy, asking for the intervention of a social worker from the agency, and ultimately could have asked the agency to disrupt the adoption and place him with another American family who had the time and means to deal with the issues he presented. It has been reported that she was trying, at the same time, to adopt another Russian child.

I believe there is more to this story and that there are likely more issues with the mother than with the child. Regardless of whether you give birth or adopt a child, you don't stick a note on their shirt and send them off on a plane alone to face the world. Abandonment is an ugly word and an even uglier concept. This woman obviously did not take her commitment to this child seriously. If our children have problems, we deal with them. If our children are sick, we take care of them. A child so young has so much potential and instead of working with him to make his life better, she sent him packing. I wonder what that child's concept of "family" really is. I wonder how much this incident has harmed him, beyond what has happened to him before. I do believe he needed to be out of that situation. It is obvious he wasn't loved. Today is his birthday. Happy 8th birthday, Justin. Some of us Americans are sorry for what you have had to endure.