Today is my son's 24th birthday. Happy Birthday, Ryan! His sister, Erin, will be 21 at the end of the Summer. The last of the Mohecans, Dylan, is 15 and I had to go to the high school this morning to pick up his registration packet. On the way back to my car, I stopped to view the Veteran's Memorial Wall at the school. I was stunned to see a number of my daughter's classmates from 2003 on the wall. They have given their lives in Iraq and Afganistan.
Many of us have experienced pregnancy and infant losses, especially in the adoption field. We somehow survive the grief and go on. However, as a mother, I can't even comprehend spending a lifetime sacrificing for and nurturing a child...only to have them taken from this earth in a heartbeat. That might be more than I could bear. In that moment, looking at the names on the memorial, I thought about the Moms. Dads too, but I think I resonated with the Moms. What must life be like after losing a child you've just finished raising? I never want to know the answer to that question. I can't imagine the sense of futility and loss. I hope they can find some peace and a way to cope. I pray for their serenity.
None of us imagined just a few short years ago that many of the kids we saw at the local high schools would fight and die for their country. I have the utmost respect for the military -- my Dad was a proud Marine -- but I truly hope our troops will all come home soon. We can't afford to lose any more of our children.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
News
For those of you who have been following the story of Zamo, the little girl from Swaziland who was brought to California by Dr. Sean Bush for surgery to treat a snakebite, I have an update. Zamo was to head home yesterday, but her trip was delayed due to some contractures of her new skin and she is going to need some additional treatment. She was limping and it was determined that there needs to be some physical therapy to stretch her new skin. So, she will be here a little longer. The bad news is, all of the funds that were provided by the drug company that provided money for her surgery have been exhausted. We're not yet sure how much physical therapy she will need, but it will likely be costly, so be sure if you need a tax write off this year to donate in her name to Loma Linda (previous blog article).
Congratulations to Katie and Dale on your recent match! You guys have my vote for parents of the year. After all those boys, I'm going to "think pink". You have a lovely family and the patience of saints! I don't know what you put in your cereal, Katie, but we all need some! Share your secrets. You amaze me!
Thanks to all of you for your prayers. Baby Austin is doing much better and recovering from his pneumonia. He's growing like crazy and making progress.
Thanks also to those of you who e-mailed me in support of the boycott of the movie, "Orphan". I hope the efforts of adoptive families around the country will convey a message to the media that adoption isn't a horror or a joke. Perhaps someone will tell a true adoption story which is real and heartwarming. I know where they can find quite a few!
Reminder: Our office is closed on Wednesdays for paperwork and projects. I do know I haven't produced a newsletter in a while and I am working on it, but it's slow going and my days run into nights very quickly. I'll get everyone a newsletter as soon as possible. For those of you asking, I'm glad you enjoy it and it's on the way soon!
Our waits have been a little longer than usual lately and I know families don't want to hear that, but it is the reality of our world today. Lots of factors contribute to this -- the lowest birth rate since the great depression -- the highest abortion rate in many years -- fewer birth parents who are harder to find. I think we have to find a way to educate people before they get to the abortion clinic. Not everyone is aware that there can be a happy ending to an unplanned pregnancy. I am doing what I can to let young women know that there are options. If anyone has any ideas about how we can get the word out to potential birth parents that there are loving families waiting for any baby, perhaps a few abortions would be unnecessary.
Happy Birthday to my BFF Laura on July 30! Do something fun because next year you'll be on the dark side of the century!! Where are those black balloons?
Congratulations to Katie and Dale on your recent match! You guys have my vote for parents of the year. After all those boys, I'm going to "think pink". You have a lovely family and the patience of saints! I don't know what you put in your cereal, Katie, but we all need some! Share your secrets. You amaze me!
Thanks to all of you for your prayers. Baby Austin is doing much better and recovering from his pneumonia. He's growing like crazy and making progress.
Thanks also to those of you who e-mailed me in support of the boycott of the movie, "Orphan". I hope the efforts of adoptive families around the country will convey a message to the media that adoption isn't a horror or a joke. Perhaps someone will tell a true adoption story which is real and heartwarming. I know where they can find quite a few!
Reminder: Our office is closed on Wednesdays for paperwork and projects. I do know I haven't produced a newsletter in a while and I am working on it, but it's slow going and my days run into nights very quickly. I'll get everyone a newsletter as soon as possible. For those of you asking, I'm glad you enjoy it and it's on the way soon!
Our waits have been a little longer than usual lately and I know families don't want to hear that, but it is the reality of our world today. Lots of factors contribute to this -- the lowest birth rate since the great depression -- the highest abortion rate in many years -- fewer birth parents who are harder to find. I think we have to find a way to educate people before they get to the abortion clinic. Not everyone is aware that there can be a happy ending to an unplanned pregnancy. I am doing what I can to let young women know that there are options. If anyone has any ideas about how we can get the word out to potential birth parents that there are loving families waiting for any baby, perhaps a few abortions would be unnecessary.
Happy Birthday to my BFF Laura on July 30! Do something fun because next year you'll be on the dark side of the century!! Where are those black balloons?
Monday, July 20, 2009
Boycott Warner Bros Film "Orphan"
For the sake of sensationalistic headlines and the promise of making money, Warner Brothers has really crossed the line. A horror movie to be released on July 24, 2009, entitled "Orphan" is about to set adoption back a few decades. Those of us in the adoption community are, indeed, horrified. There is such a negative spin placed on adoption that there is concern that many children awaiting families worldwide will not be adopted because of the message portrayed in this film. I viewed the trailer and it is not surprising that it prompted outrage from adoption advocates around the country, adoptive families, and those involved in children's services.
While "Orphan" is a "make-believe" story, it's messages will have an impact on many. There is a line in the movie in which the "orphan", Esther states "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own". Imagine how that would make an adopted child (or adult) feel. The basic plot is one of violence and rage and the movie is rated "R for disturbing violent content, some sexuality, and language". It's not surprising that a major movie studio would make a movie with hapless disregard for the children it will most certainly affect, but it has the potential to offend even those who aren't involved in adoption. With the controversy and public discussion of the topic which will most certainly emerge, how do you explain this view of adoption to a child? How do you keep other children from taunting a child who is adopted with the poison message they are being allowed to absorb? Where are Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Sharon Stone, Tom Cruise, Madonna, and other famous adoptive parents when we need them? Where do they weigh in on this? I'd like to know.
There has been a call for a boycott of the movie, which I support. Most major adoption organizations are in agreement and in a letter from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, it is noted that "We are concerned that in addition to its intended entertainment value, this film will have the unintended effect of skewing public opinion against children awaiting families in both the United States and abroad". This is a caustic, unnecessary film which promotes an extremely negative stereotype of adoptees and could cause some serious distress to children who have been or desire to be adopted. It's not enough for Warner Brothers to apologize. We all need to boycott Warner Brothers and this movie in particular. Adoptive parents, adoptees, agencies, attorneys, and anyone who knows or loves someone who has been touched by adoption needs to call, write and e-mail Warner Brothers and flood your local newspapers with letters to the editor. This movie is to be released July 24. Let your local movie theatre know you will boycott them as well. Here is how you can reach Warner Brothers;
Chairman & CEO, Barry M. Meyer
President and COO, Alan F. Horn
Warner Brothers Entertainment, Inc.
4000 Warner Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91522
818-562-3062
Cast: Peter Sarsgaard, Vera Farmiga, Isabelle Fuhrman, Lorry Ayers.
It's very difficult to find an e-mail address for anyone at Warner Brothers (Is this surprising?), so I would appreciate hearing from anyone who finds one. I am outraged by the insensitivity of everyone involved in this film. I guess it's true. Money talks. Don't spend your money on this movie.
While "Orphan" is a "make-believe" story, it's messages will have an impact on many. There is a line in the movie in which the "orphan", Esther states "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own". Imagine how that would make an adopted child (or adult) feel. The basic plot is one of violence and rage and the movie is rated "R for disturbing violent content, some sexuality, and language". It's not surprising that a major movie studio would make a movie with hapless disregard for the children it will most certainly affect, but it has the potential to offend even those who aren't involved in adoption. With the controversy and public discussion of the topic which will most certainly emerge, how do you explain this view of adoption to a child? How do you keep other children from taunting a child who is adopted with the poison message they are being allowed to absorb? Where are Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Sharon Stone, Tom Cruise, Madonna, and other famous adoptive parents when we need them? Where do they weigh in on this? I'd like to know.
There has been a call for a boycott of the movie, which I support. Most major adoption organizations are in agreement and in a letter from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, it is noted that "We are concerned that in addition to its intended entertainment value, this film will have the unintended effect of skewing public opinion against children awaiting families in both the United States and abroad". This is a caustic, unnecessary film which promotes an extremely negative stereotype of adoptees and could cause some serious distress to children who have been or desire to be adopted. It's not enough for Warner Brothers to apologize. We all need to boycott Warner Brothers and this movie in particular. Adoptive parents, adoptees, agencies, attorneys, and anyone who knows or loves someone who has been touched by adoption needs to call, write and e-mail Warner Brothers and flood your local newspapers with letters to the editor. This movie is to be released July 24. Let your local movie theatre know you will boycott them as well. Here is how you can reach Warner Brothers;
Chairman & CEO, Barry M. Meyer
President and COO, Alan F. Horn
Warner Brothers Entertainment, Inc.
4000 Warner Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91522
818-562-3062
Cast: Peter Sarsgaard, Vera Farmiga, Isabelle Fuhrman, Lorry Ayers.
It's very difficult to find an e-mail address for anyone at Warner Brothers (Is this surprising?), so I would appreciate hearing from anyone who finds one. I am outraged by the insensitivity of everyone involved in this film. I guess it's true. Money talks. Don't spend your money on this movie.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Announcements
Please say a little prayer for baby Austin, who has been suffering from pneumonia. That's a very scary thing for his parents, Rick and Allison. He is under medical supervision and they are hoping he won't have to be hospitalized.
Congratulations to Bob and Sherry on their recent birth mother match.
Congratulations to Jenny on the adoption of Nicholas Raymond, born 7-10-09, and welcomed home today by big sister, Lauren.
Congratulations to Keith and Kristin on the finalization of Kylie's adoption next week! It's been a long journey, but she's yours!
Thank you to Barbara and Amy for visiting with me in Pittsburgh with their little angels, Hailey Rose and Michael. I didn't have to navigate the streets of Pittsburgh because Amy insisted I follow her everywhere. What a sweetie! I was able to meet with a few families and that was really enjoyable. For those families I didn't get a chance to meet and visit with, I will be back to Pittsburgh in September or October and my schedule will be more flexible. I look forward to seeing you then!
Thanks also to Joseph. You make my life and my work a little less stressful.
Congratulations to Bob and Sherry on their recent birth mother match.
Congratulations to Jenny on the adoption of Nicholas Raymond, born 7-10-09, and welcomed home today by big sister, Lauren.
Congratulations to Keith and Kristin on the finalization of Kylie's adoption next week! It's been a long journey, but she's yours!
Thank you to Barbara and Amy for visiting with me in Pittsburgh with their little angels, Hailey Rose and Michael. I didn't have to navigate the streets of Pittsburgh because Amy insisted I follow her everywhere. What a sweetie! I was able to meet with a few families and that was really enjoyable. For those families I didn't get a chance to meet and visit with, I will be back to Pittsburgh in September or October and my schedule will be more flexible. I look forward to seeing you then!
Thanks also to Joseph. You make my life and my work a little less stressful.
Update on Zamo
Last week, Zamo had successful grafting on the skin of her leg and foot. She's walking and doing well! She is even going up and down stairs now. Zamo will be returning to her native Swaziland next week, on July 20. She will have to keep her foot covered so that it will heal without exposure to the sun. For someone used to walking around barefoot, I'm sure socks and shoes feel a bit confining, but she's doing very well.
I am hoping to be able to assist Dr. Bush in getting some donations for Anti-venom for the part of Swaziland where Zamo lives. There are many remote villages that have no medical personnel, clinics, or doctors nearby. In the hours it can take to get someone to a hospital, they can easily die. With anti-venom available, there is the ability to buy time and save lives. Since many of these lives are children, I think it's important that we help where we can. Anti-venom costs $100.00 per vial for the type of serum needed for that area. It comes 10 vials to a case. I am hoping that by Christmas, we can send at least one case, and then go on from there.
Our local Rotary has given some gifts to Zamo, although she still needs some shoes and personal items so that she can keep her foot and leg clean while it heals. If anyone wants to help, please send me a note and I'll make sure we can get what is needed before Zamo goes home. Otherwise, we're going to start working on the anti-venom. It is tax-deductible through Loma Linda University Medical Center's non-profit status.
I'm thinking some of our adoptive families will have children's clothing and shoes to donate. We should be able to ship some things for Zamo's village later, so if you have any items you don't need that would benefit a child, please let me know.
Dr. Sean Bush and his wife A'me are the angels who have really assisted Zamo and her mother so that they could get the necessary care needed for her foot. I'm not sure how they moved the mountains to get her here, and I know it was a great undertaking, but through their efforts, they are sending a healthy little girl home. She didn't lose her foot or her life. I am humbled at the efforts made on her behalf and I hope we can all show them that there are lots of angels in the world. If we all do just a little, we can accomplish a whole lot!
My adoptive families and friends rock!
I am hoping to be able to assist Dr. Bush in getting some donations for Anti-venom for the part of Swaziland where Zamo lives. There are many remote villages that have no medical personnel, clinics, or doctors nearby. In the hours it can take to get someone to a hospital, they can easily die. With anti-venom available, there is the ability to buy time and save lives. Since many of these lives are children, I think it's important that we help where we can. Anti-venom costs $100.00 per vial for the type of serum needed for that area. It comes 10 vials to a case. I am hoping that by Christmas, we can send at least one case, and then go on from there.
Our local Rotary has given some gifts to Zamo, although she still needs some shoes and personal items so that she can keep her foot and leg clean while it heals. If anyone wants to help, please send me a note and I'll make sure we can get what is needed before Zamo goes home. Otherwise, we're going to start working on the anti-venom. It is tax-deductible through Loma Linda University Medical Center's non-profit status.
I'm thinking some of our adoptive families will have children's clothing and shoes to donate. We should be able to ship some things for Zamo's village later, so if you have any items you don't need that would benefit a child, please let me know.
Dr. Sean Bush and his wife A'me are the angels who have really assisted Zamo and her mother so that they could get the necessary care needed for her foot. I'm not sure how they moved the mountains to get her here, and I know it was a great undertaking, but through their efforts, they are sending a healthy little girl home. She didn't lose her foot or her life. I am humbled at the efforts made on her behalf and I hope we can all show them that there are lots of angels in the world. If we all do just a little, we can accomplish a whole lot!
My adoptive families and friends rock!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Zamo Needs Us
Some would call me a community activist. I'm involved in several service organizations, one being Rotary. I'm also a frequent flyer in the letters to the editor section of our local newspaper. I like to know what's going on and I definitely have an opinion about it! I keep my eye out for projects that are related to kids in particular. Recently, our Rotary Club hosted a guest speaker, Dr. Sean Bush. Some of you may know him from his documentary series "Venom E.R.". Dr. Bush is a venomologist. He lives here locally and works at Loma Linda University Medical Center. He is one of a rare breed of docs who take care of the victims of snake bites, spider bites, and anything related to venom. In the Pacific Southwest, as well as many other parts of the U.S., we have a fair amount of venomous snakes. Kids are particularly vulnerable, not only because of their size (closer to the ground), but also because many children are fearless and don't realize the danger snakes pose. The venom also affects them more acutely. Dr. Bush's own two year old son was the victim of a rattlesnake bite, so it can happen to anyone.
As an evenomation expert, Dr. Bush travels around the globe studying and helping snake bite victims. As part of a project to film the dangers of snake bites, Dr. Bush traveled with a film crew and team to Swaziland, a tiny country nestled in South Africa. In remote villages in this region, there is very little anti-venom (if any) and hospitals are almost non-existent. Many people, including children, are bitten by venomous snakes there while they are sleeping. Their homes are typically not very secure and are very small shanties with holes throughout, so the snakes come in at night looking for food.
Zamo is a sweet two-year-old girl who was sleeping when she was bitten on the foot by a poisonous snake that had entered her shelter at night. There was very little help for her as her foot swelled up and the venom traveled through her veins. The skin and muscle tissue on her foot began to slough off, leaving her bones and tendons exposed from the lower part of her shin down to her toes. She was unable to walk and her foot began to turn outward. It's hard to imagine the pain she must have endured in the days after the snake bite. She had to endure a great deal.
When Dr. Bush saw her and began treatment, he realized that it wouldn't be possible to provide the the type and scope of help Zamo needed there in Africa. She needed to be in a place with advanced medical equipment, a support team of surgeons, and the appropriate medications to help her in the best way possible. Dr. Bush managed to get through the diplomatic red tape and was able to have her flown from Swaziland (a 24 hour process) to California to Loma Linda University Medical Center, here in the Inland Empire, where treatment has helped her a great deal. Her wounds were cleaned and prepped and she is currently undergoing a series of skin grafts to enable her skin to re-grow. She has had and will need additional physical therapy. Her foot has been saved. Seeing the wound, I marvel at the fact that all of her toes were able to be spared. Zamo is going to be okay, if somewhat scarred. The amount of treatment and the medical costs are no doubt staggering.
In the meantime, through all of the treatment, Zamo and her mother are staying at the Ronald McDonald House in Loma Linda. She has spent a great deal of time at Dr. Bush's home as well. He is obviously a very dedicated doctor, and is committed to making a difference in the life of this child, and others. I am hoping to find ways to assist Dr. Bush in the non-medical care of Zamo and the children who will follow in her footsteps.
The current economy isn't very forgiving and many people don't have as much to donate to charitable causes as they would like, myself included. But we can all make a difference if we each do a little and combine it. I'd like to send Zamo and Dr. Bush some help. She and the other children who are and will be facing these types of medical emergencies need everything from the basic necessities to donations for food and shipping, as well as interpreters. This all comes at a cost. If you need tax deductions this year for charitable gifts, or if you just want to help a little girl regain the use of her foot, please take a look at a few of the sites listed below.
http://lomalindahealth.org/medical-center/our-services/emergency/programs-and-divisions/venom-er/our-doctors/index.html
http://www.llu.edu/news/newsstory.html?id=1578
Here are the ways we can help:
Donations may be sent to Loma Linda via;
L.L.U.C.H. Foundation
11175 Mountain View Ave.
Loma Linda, CA 92354
Attention: Mindy 909-558-3154
Please indicate on your check: Snakebite Victims/Dr. Sean Bush, from ALOL Families
Another way to help is to send contributions to:
Ronald McDonald House
11365 Anderson St.
Loma Linda, CA 92354
909-558-8300
Gifts appreciated include cash donations, gift cards for restaurants (check with Ronald McDonald House), gift cards for places like Wal-Mart and Target where clothing can be purchased, and new children's toys and books. If you can just do a small amount on a gift card or want to assist in purchasing a gift card, let me know and I can combine several gifts to purchase a gift card. We can make a difference.
I hope to set up a fund for snake bite kits which include anti-venom and can be sent to some of these remote areas where they have no hospitals and certainly no venomologists available to help. Anyone who has resources for any of these options should contact me. I know many of you would be happy to donate outgrown children's clothing and I may take you up on that if I can find a way to get everything shipped to Swaziland.
Please forward this information to as many friends and relatives as you can so that we can get the word out. Dr. Bush was able to provide a picture of Zamo and if a picture says a thousand words, then you understand that this child and others like her go through an incredible amount of pain and anguish. We can help.
Dr. Bush is doing his part and I'm hoping we can pitch in and help so that kids in forgotten parts of the world will have a chance to recover from snake bites. They deserve the same chances as children born in areas quick to provide medical care. I'm counting on my wonderful adoptive families and readers of my blog and newsletter to come through. As a group, we can change the lives of some children and perhaps even save some.
As an evenomation expert, Dr. Bush travels around the globe studying and helping snake bite victims. As part of a project to film the dangers of snake bites, Dr. Bush traveled with a film crew and team to Swaziland, a tiny country nestled in South Africa. In remote villages in this region, there is very little anti-venom (if any) and hospitals are almost non-existent. Many people, including children, are bitten by venomous snakes there while they are sleeping. Their homes are typically not very secure and are very small shanties with holes throughout, so the snakes come in at night looking for food.
Zamo is a sweet two-year-old girl who was sleeping when she was bitten on the foot by a poisonous snake that had entered her shelter at night. There was very little help for her as her foot swelled up and the venom traveled through her veins. The skin and muscle tissue on her foot began to slough off, leaving her bones and tendons exposed from the lower part of her shin down to her toes. She was unable to walk and her foot began to turn outward. It's hard to imagine the pain she must have endured in the days after the snake bite. She had to endure a great deal.
When Dr. Bush saw her and began treatment, he realized that it wouldn't be possible to provide the the type and scope of help Zamo needed there in Africa. She needed to be in a place with advanced medical equipment, a support team of surgeons, and the appropriate medications to help her in the best way possible. Dr. Bush managed to get through the diplomatic red tape and was able to have her flown from Swaziland (a 24 hour process) to California to Loma Linda University Medical Center, here in the Inland Empire, where treatment has helped her a great deal. Her wounds were cleaned and prepped and she is currently undergoing a series of skin grafts to enable her skin to re-grow. She has had and will need additional physical therapy. Her foot has been saved. Seeing the wound, I marvel at the fact that all of her toes were able to be spared. Zamo is going to be okay, if somewhat scarred. The amount of treatment and the medical costs are no doubt staggering.
In the meantime, through all of the treatment, Zamo and her mother are staying at the Ronald McDonald House in Loma Linda. She has spent a great deal of time at Dr. Bush's home as well. He is obviously a very dedicated doctor, and is committed to making a difference in the life of this child, and others. I am hoping to find ways to assist Dr. Bush in the non-medical care of Zamo and the children who will follow in her footsteps.
The current economy isn't very forgiving and many people don't have as much to donate to charitable causes as they would like, myself included. But we can all make a difference if we each do a little and combine it. I'd like to send Zamo and Dr. Bush some help. She and the other children who are and will be facing these types of medical emergencies need everything from the basic necessities to donations for food and shipping, as well as interpreters. This all comes at a cost. If you need tax deductions this year for charitable gifts, or if you just want to help a little girl regain the use of her foot, please take a look at a few of the sites listed below.
http://lomalindahealth.org/medical-center/our-services/emergency/programs-and-divisions/venom-er/our-doctors/index.html
http://www.llu.edu/news/newsstory.html?id=1578
Here are the ways we can help:
Donations may be sent to Loma Linda via;
L.L.U.C.H. Foundation
11175 Mountain View Ave.
Loma Linda, CA 92354
Attention: Mindy 909-558-3154
Please indicate on your check: Snakebite Victims/Dr. Sean Bush, from ALOL Families
Another way to help is to send contributions to:
Ronald McDonald House
11365 Anderson St.
Loma Linda, CA 92354
909-558-8300
Gifts appreciated include cash donations, gift cards for restaurants (check with Ronald McDonald House), gift cards for places like Wal-Mart and Target where clothing can be purchased, and new children's toys and books. If you can just do a small amount on a gift card or want to assist in purchasing a gift card, let me know and I can combine several gifts to purchase a gift card. We can make a difference.
I hope to set up a fund for snake bite kits which include anti-venom and can be sent to some of these remote areas where they have no hospitals and certainly no venomologists available to help. Anyone who has resources for any of these options should contact me. I know many of you would be happy to donate outgrown children's clothing and I may take you up on that if I can find a way to get everything shipped to Swaziland.
Please forward this information to as many friends and relatives as you can so that we can get the word out. Dr. Bush was able to provide a picture of Zamo and if a picture says a thousand words, then you understand that this child and others like her go through an incredible amount of pain and anguish. We can help.
Dr. Bush is doing his part and I'm hoping we can pitch in and help so that kids in forgotten parts of the world will have a chance to recover from snake bites. They deserve the same chances as children born in areas quick to provide medical care. I'm counting on my wonderful adoptive families and readers of my blog and newsletter to come through. As a group, we can change the lives of some children and perhaps even save some.
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