Adoption - Welcome Home Abby & Ella!

I received a wonderful e-mail regarding Mother's Day and wanted to share it with everyone. It truly made me smile. This is what can happen when you're waiting for one newborn! Amy & Bob waited a while and were, I suspect, getting a little discouraged about the adoption process. And then it happened. We got a call from a young lady in Alaska who couldn't manage the four children she had and wanted a good home for her youngest, twin girls. Because they were not newborn, we sent a message to our families asking who would be interested. We received a fairly large response and the birth mom had quite a few good choices. She chose Bob and Amy and while I don't normally recommend adopting children older than your youngest, I knew that this was a good fit and that it would work. On so many levels, it was a perfect match and it's been a fairly seamless transition. This from Amy...

"Dear Tina -

Mother's Day was fantastic! Who would have thought last year at this time that I would be the mother of three? Not me!

The girls are doing very well. They have both adjusted nicely to their new names, new room, new family, new everything. They are so resilient! We have made our first trip to the pediatrician, to the dentist, and to have them evaluated developmentally. Everything has gone well. Both girls are working with a speech therapist and they are already speaking volumes better than when they first got home two months ago. It's hard to believe it has been two months -- Wow!

I think Garrett has finally realized that his sisters are here to stay. It is really neat to watch them interact. Garrett and Ella both have a very physical approach to playing. They enjoy being outside, running, climbing, and physically immersing themselves into everything they do. Garrett and Abby, on the other hand, play more make believe stuff. They play house together, in their play kitchen and with little people, etc. They all laugh hysterically together, which brings us such joy! At the end of dinner, they break into songs -- everything from the ABC song to Jesus Loves Me to Row Row Row Your Boat (none of which the girls had ever heard before). They sing at the top of their lungs and clap wildly for each other. Heaven!

When we first got home, we had a variety of friends who brought us meals every night. What a blessing! My mom came and stayed with us for a month too. That was helpful beyond words! We had people we didn't even know dropping off toys, clothing, etc. In fact, I was at a Tastefully Simple party and a woman there heard me talking about the twins and said, 'Hey - I know you! I heard about your story on my prayer chain. I've been praying for you since February!' Can you believe that? Talk about goose bumps.

Obviously I could go on and on. I can tell you this -- We cannot imagine our lives without Abby and Ella. They are such a perfect fit! They have already brought so much to us and to our family. We are blessed beyond measure."

I can picture the kids singing and clapping for each other. In the pictures, you can just see the joy on their faces. This is what family is all about. Welcome to your family Abby & Ella!

The Adoption Duggars - A Day in the Life

We've all heard of the Duggars -- the family on TLC with "19 Kids and Counting". Well it's Mother's Day this weekend, so that family does come to mind, but so does another one. I call them "The Adoption Duggars". Parents Michelle and Jim Bob are replaced by Katie and Dale. Katie was an only child and is making up for that big time. I've known Katie since the early days, just after she adopted two sets of siblings. Her first foray into motherhood came in her mid-30s when she adopted six children at once, four girls and two boys, all around the ages of 9, 10, and 11. Now the pre-teen era isn't pretty, but when you have six kids all the same age range, well, it makes me wonder how Katie still has hair, much less the waist-length tresses she sports. I'm not even going to talk about hormonal changes here (kids, not mom!).

Once those children grew older, they adopted again. This time a set of triplets and their sibling sister. I'm not sure Katie knows how to parent in small numbers. She was so used to multi-tasking by this point that she just took it all in stride. Humor punctuates the mix. It would have to. After the triplets came the desire for an infant, since they had never parented a baby. One lonely baby boy later, they adopted another sibling group of three young boys -- ready made playmates. At fourteen kids, you'd think that hearts and hands would be full, but wait! They had never parented a baby girl, so the search was on. That adoption happened on the day before Halloween last year. Just after they found out that their baby daughter was on the way, they got unexpected news. They had previously applied to adopt in Ethiopia to save a child. They felt that they could make a difference in one child's life. Not only did they receive news that they had been approved to travel to Ethiopia, they found out they were getting twins!

So, our "Adoption Duggars" have children who are 24, 23, 22, 22, 21, 20, 16, 14, 14, 14, 9, 7, 6, 6, 8 months, 8 months, and 6 months. This includes one set of fraternal triplets and one set of identical twins, the last of which are paired with a baby their age making them pseudo-triplets. The score is girls 9, boys 8.

I asked Katie what her typical day was like. Mistake. I got tired just reading about it. She sent me her itinerary for May 1. It goes like this...one son has community service 9:00am-1:00pm; four youngest boys have dance 11:30am-12:00pm. Daughter has dance 12:00pm-2:30pm. Two daughters, aunt, and three baby girls, along with mom have a mother/daughter tea to attend from 11:00am-1:00pm; 16 year old has a formal dinner to attend so there is hair, make-up, dress, corsage, etc. Must be at school by 4:00 pm; One daughter has to attend awards banquet at school from 5:00pm-7:00pm with Mom and Dad (highest GPA award in her grade level-9th); Oldest son has to be to work 7:00am-2:00pm; another son has to work from 9:00am-3:00pm; daughter works 5:00pm-9:30pm; 16 year old has to be picked up from formal at 11:00pm. Katie classifies herself (among other things) as the "air traffic controller". She coordinates rides to and from all activities. That's no small task when you filter in that anyone taking the younger children must drive the big van. While there are four drivers in the house (some of the kids are on their own), there are three vehicles and with all the taxi rides going back and forth, it takes a fair amount of logistical planning just to get everyone to and from their activities.

This is just one day in the life and doesn't include dental and doctor visits, football or baseball sign-ups (birth certificates in hand), drama team practice, bell choir practice (national competition) at church, girl scouts, volunteering, college classes and school graduations (college, trade school, high school, and kindergarten!), end of year programs, and normal activities like grocery shopping and laundry. Laundry -- four washers and four dryers -- need I say more?

Seriously, I had trouble getting one or two kids out the door and to school on time each morning. I can't even imagine the logistics! I told Katie that I thought perhaps she must be buying energy drinks in bulk. Her response was that she drinks McDonald's sweet tea. I don't know what's in that stuff, but it must be pretty powerful! I'm gonna have to try it. After all, I still have one left in the nest.

Katie is having a bit of Mom withdrawal, having just sent one son off to boot camp with mixed emotions. Even one little birdie leaving the nest is stressful!

So, again this year, Katie gets my vote for Mother of the Year. She does crazy amounts of work, all while managing a job and she does it with humor. Dale is no slouch either, caring for the kids when Mom is working. They have it all down to a science. They get where they need to be and no one misses a thing. They even traveled to California to go to a wedding and Disneyland (before the babies) and I marveled at their level of efficiency. Each child had a backpack and a pillow. Katie and Dale had one suitcase full of blow up beds. A trip to McDonalds? 30 Hamburgers please! It never mattered to Katie and Dale what race or gender the kids were. The only criteria was "Do they need us?".

On this Mother's Day, my hat is off to Katie, and all of those other mothers out there with big or small families. Mom is the cog in the wheel -- the one person needed to make everything work. When you contemplate motherhood, with all of it's challenges and sleepless nights, think of Katie and you'll realize you can do it!