Choose Life

Bravo to Texas lawmakers who have approved legislation authorizing “choose life” license plates.  The plates will be sold to raise money to help pregnant mothers choose adoption over abortion.  While critics may say it puts lawmakers on one side of the argument, that has been the case for the other side for years.  I think anyone who is pro-choice should be glad that there is yet another choice and that choice may save a life.  Also in Texas, a bill requiring a woman seeking an abortion to view sonogram images of her fetus at least 24 hours prior to a planned abortion tentatively passed the state Senate in a vote of 21-10.  Informed consent is required in all surgeries, so why not abortion?  A woman should know exactly what she is aborting.  Planned Parenthood, the leading abortion provider in the country, doesn’t want her to see that her baby is not simply “pregnancy tissue” or “products of conception”.  A beating heart tells a different story.  Victims of rape and incest would not be required to view the sonogram if they opted not to.   Watch for Planned Parenthood to fight this bill with whatever means they can.  It can and will cut into their profits.

The Nebraska legislature is also taking some positive steps.  A bill sponsored by Sen. Beau McCoy would exclude abortion coverage from all private insurance policies sold in that state.  Those who wish to purchase abortion coverage would only be allowed to do so with an optional rider paid for solely by the insured.  Lawmakers in Kansas are moving to do the same thing.  It’s about time that taxpayers were taken off the hook for abortions that some of us don’t wish to fund.  Five states already prohibit abortion coverage in basic policies.  Those states are Missouri, Idaho, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and Kentucky.  The Hippocratic oath that doctors take requires them to swear that they will “do no harm”.  In the original Hippocratic oath, doctors were required to swear that “I will not give a woman a pessary to cause an abortion”.   It seems that some don’t take their oath very seriously, so legislation may be the only way to protect the unborn. 

Adoption Issues - We're All Pro-choice

Someone pointed out to me today that we're all pro-choice. Some of us are pro-life and some are pro-death, but we're all pro-choice. We each want our own choice. I worked in Labor & Delivery for seven years. For two of those years, I was a neonatal bereavement counselor. It was my job to go into a delivery room where a woman was either going to give birth to a deceased baby, one that would most certainly expire, or had already expired. It was my job to gently take the baby, give the baby a bath, take footprints and hand prints -- as tiny as they might have been. It was my job to photograph the baby in perspective -- next to a flower or a small reminder of how little that baby was. Then, I would dress the baby in something nice -- often doll clothes since preemies are sometimes no larger than the palm of your hand. The child would then be wrapped lovingly in a baby blanket and presented to the parents, so they could hold, be with, and grieve the loss of their baby. To say it was heart-wrenching is an understatement. I grieved my own losses, particularly my son Cody, who was also born deceased and very premature. I sat with Moms, Dads, Grandparents, and siblings and cried right along with them. So very precious was this life they lost. Anyone who has gone through such a trauma is pro-life. The death of a baby is such a devastating loss. A life unlived. It's so unnatural to be witness to an angel taking flight.

It's interesting that a baby born at 25 or 26 weeks can, with support and care, grow up to live a normal life. And yet, in many states, it is legal to abort a child of that gestational age. If you read the book "Gianna", it will give you insight as to what happens to babies when they are aborted. Gianna is a woman who was actually aborted, and lived to tell about it. After being burned by saline and forced from the uterus, she came out crying. The doctor put her aside, assuming she would die. When she didn't die after an hour, she was finally taken reluctantly to a hospital. She was burned by the saline abortion and because of the trauma and forced prematurity, she suffered cerebral palsy. She was adopted and has lived as full a life as one can with cerebral palsy. She is sharp as a tack. She wrote a book. How can anyone advocate for the right to hurt a child? I've known people in the past who would save a puppy or rescue a kitten and would criticize someone for dumping a litter off the side of the road to die. And yet they advocated for abortion.

If you drink and drive and you run into someone who is pregnant and you kill their unborn child, case law indicates that you can be held accountable for manslaughter and even second degree murder. Yet, if that very same woman continues on down the road to an abortion clinic and allows the life of her child to be taken, we are told, "It's a choice". Not much of a choice for the baby. We have double standards.
Why is it that the very same baby can be viewed as a precious family member and as an expendable nuisance depending upon circumstances? Who should get to play God?

So, when all of this debate in Congress centers around tax dollars (mine and yours) being allocated for abortion at will (which is what the law reads, despite what is being sold to us as a Presidential over-ride), I have to object. I spent too much time comforting those who lost the opportunity to parent. There are too many more who want to parent the unborn who may be, at a cost to us, discarded and thrown in the trash. It's tragic, it's senseless, and it's costing us so much - financially, emotionally, and spiritually. It's like the bumper sticker that says, "Abortion - One dead, one wounded". The mother doesn't walk away unscathed. Often I talk to women who are now considering adoption because they have aborted before and can't reconcile that with their conscience. A woman once told me, "I will never be able to forgive myself and I hate myself for what I did". Post-abortion, women look down at the babies they have and they think to themselves, "That was one of them. What did I do?". Some have a very hard time forgiving themselves. Abortion providers are so quick to identify the problem as "pregnancy tissue" or "products of conception" -- very sterile terms for a beating heart, don't you think? As Americans, we can't claim to the rest of the world to be humanitarians if we are killing our own babies. Yes, that sounds harsh, but isn't that what is happening? There will always be exceptions to every rule, but those should be offered by physicians trying to save a life that may be in the balance. Outside of that, there are better options.

Congressman Bart Stupak sold out. Supposedly a vehement pro-lifer, his vote was the tipping point. I wonder what he was promised by our President in order to get him to reverse his stance, compromise his ethics, and vote for a bill that states abortion should be available to those who want it and should be covered by health care insurance paid for by taxpayers? Back door deals and dirty politics are now the norm. How did we get to the point in this country where the votes of the congressmen who are supposed to be representing the people are bought and sold? And at what price? Very simply - the price of a life. No, make that millions of lives. Innocent lives.

I have seen and attended many births. I have worked in a newborn nursery. I have been present in adoption situations for support during delivery. I've never seen a baby and felt "That one should have been aborted". Not once. Not every baby is what you may consider "perfect". But what I have found is that every baby is perfect for someone. I will never support having my tax dollars or my business' tax dollars go for abortion at will. The fact that this is "the law of the land" -- my land -- is sickening to me. I would love to be able to support our President, but I can't. Mr. Obama claims to be Christian, but supports the right to choose death and wants me to pay for it. I find that hypocritical and offensive. How is that my choice?

The Abortion Debate

I am constantly amazed at what people will believe when fed by the media. I've been having the abortion debate with a friend and his lack of knowledge about the actual abortion procedure and the excuses given by abortionists for doing it have rendered me speechless (at least verbally!). Less than 1/10th of 1 percent of pregnancies require the mother to terminate the pregnancy or risk her life. If that decision has to be made and one or both will lose their life, then that is obviously the exception to the rule. I think what irks me most is that abortionists and pro-life activists try to make us believe that there are medical reasons for most abortions, when that is not the case. Tell it like it is, people! Just be real about it. My friend asked me, "What about late term abortion when the mother's life is at stake?". If that is the case, there is no need for an abortion. Birth can be induced or a C-section done and the baby delivered. There is no need to parent if that is the issue. Adoptive families abound.

There is a book I would encourage everyone to read. It's called "Gianna", by Jessica Shaver with an afterward by Gianna Jessen. Gianna is adopted. She was adopted by her foster family after coming into the world in a very traumatic way. Gianna's biological mother went into an abortion clinic to get an abortion. Apparently the clinic was so focused on the profit to be made, they neglected to adequately determine gestational dates. At that time, saline abortions were all the rage. Saline was injected into the mother's uterus and she was sent home to wait for the baby to die, so she could come back and they could deliver it. When she came back to the clinic in labor, the baby was delivered. There was one small problem. The baby didn't die. Gianna was born screaming and she was burned, head to toe, by the saline. They put her off to the side and waited for her to die. She didn't die. After a while, the physician realized that this baby was not going to die. So, she was taken to a hospital. Gianna recovered. She is an aborted baby who lived to tell about it. I wonder how many others got to that point and were smothered or drowned to get rid of the evidence of life.

As a result of the injuries she sustained in this failed abortion, Gianna has cerebral palsy. She is intelligent and lives a full life, which is impacted by the physical effects of her cerebral palsy -- cerebral palsy caused by people. Even with her disability, she was adoptable. She is loved. Everyone in the room when she was born expected she'd be dead. Her will to live and her purpose in life (perhaps to bear witness to the injustice of what is being done)was undaunted by those who would have killed her.

Late term abortion is never necessary. It may be necessary to deliver the child, but a c-section or induction would give them a fighting chance at life! If the mother's life is in danger, then by all means they should try to save her. But don't use the mother's life as an excuse in every abortion. If I sound angry, I am. Our society as a whole can't be honest. Call a spade a spade. Tell the truth. Put everyone on an even playing field. If you are calling those who don't believe in carte blanche abortion "pro-life", then why is the opposite not "pro-death"? We all know the answer to that. "Pro-choice" is a deceptive term. Whose "choice" would that be? Certainly not the choice of the child. Not the choice of all those potential adoptive parents out there who are waiting for a child. Not the choice of those who value life. But there is much protest if you label it what it really is.

I don't want to sound preachy or come off like a foot-stomping activist, but if the pen is, indeed, mightier than the sword, then I'm taking up arms. I would challenge those who believe that abortion is a "right" to actually witness one. Most would refuse because they don't want to know. They don't want to see the "medical waste", the blood and dismembered babies thrown in the trash. There is a movie from the 70's called "Silent Scream" that takes a camera inside a uterus while an abortion is being performed. It's a true horror movie. Most people would defend the rights of animals being hurt before they would defend the rights of unborn humans. I really don't understand it. If we want others to value life, don't we have to value it? How can we condemn suicide bombers, when we kill our own children? If we will kill an innocent baby who hasn't yet had the chance to begin a life, how will we treat those who are at the end of life and are no longer productive? When does the madness end? If we respect life, we can't put some sort of limitations on when life begins and when life is over. Who is qualified to do that? Even in the absence of religion, physicians will tell you that upon conception, there is a living organism which will eventually walk and talk and be called a human being. The ones who disagree tend to be the same ones who are benefiting financially from abortions. They may say they are "providing a service" to women. In fact, they are providing a disservice. A hit man can "provide a service". Does that make it acceptable?

I realize my opinion may offend some, and I apologize for that. I spent a few years in labor and delivery and in both post-abortion and neo-natal bereavement counseling. If a woman loses a wanted child through a miscarriage or fetal demise, she grieves a life lost. If a pregnancy was unwanted and abortion performed, does that mean that child wasn't a life lost? In China, for many years and still in some places, when a female child is born alive, she is placed face down in a bucket of water to drown or smothered, as males are preferred. When Americans hear that, they are appalled. Why? Many of those same Americans are supportive of the right to extinguish the life of that same baby just a few weeks earlier. I'm not sure whether drowning or dismemberment is worse. Can anyone tell me?

Adoptions and Elections - VOTE!

Not only is November National Adoption Month, but it's also the month we elect our next president. No matter who you are voting for, make it a point to go out to the polls if you haven't already mailed in your ballot. We can't complain about our policy makers if we don't vote. For those of us involved in adoption -- either through family ties or emotional ties -- this is a critical vote. There is one pro-"choice" candidate and one pro-life candidate. I've talked about abortion in this blog before and you can go to the archives to see what I have to say about it, but suffice to say that life should come before "choice". I haven't met anyone who would choose to be aborted. I haven't met anyone who was happy about their "choice" to abort. On the contrary, I have spoken with many women who are forever traumatized by their decision. It's one of those decisions you can never take back. Anyone who has had children can look at one of them and understand the ramifications -- it could have been that one. Today's world is different than the world our parents or grandparents grew up in. It's acceptable to be single and pregnant. There is no shame in carrying a child to term, so there is no reason to kill a child to rectify an error in judgment. The child didn't make the error and had no choice at all. So, when you go to the polls tomorrow, think long and hard about how many lives you can save by simply casting your ballot. I don't think it matters whether you are republican or democrat, man or woman, Catholic or Protestant. You can change the world one life at a time. WWJD?

Politics and Pregnancy

I don't generally talk politics, since most political discussions are arguments waiting to happen. However, on the day that Sarah Palin, the woman who may be the next Vice-President, is set to talk at the Republican National Convention, I am making an exception. I, like many others in this country, didn't know much about Sarah Palin when John McCain named her as his running mate. I had read about her pregnancy and her child who has Down's Syndrome, and her winner-take-all politics in Alaska, but I confess to not having given her much of a thought. All that has changed now and I have been reading all I can about the woman who could be "a heartbeat away" from the Presidency. I have found her to be vibrant, spunky, very interesting, and worthy of consideration. The women of this country make up just over half of the registered voters. If all of us voted en bloc we would be unbeatable. Girl power! That won't happen, of course. I can only hope that women will consider other women when they vote. I am talking about unborn women. Virtually half of all aborted babies would eventually become women. In our country, they don't have rights until they come out kicking and screaming. Of course, if someone kills a pregnant woman and her baby dies with her, then there are two counts of murder. How can you have a second count of murder when the baby isn't a life? Our society has double standards. If you want your baby and it's killed, it's murder. If you don't want your baby and it's killed, it's "choice".

I do respect a woman's right to choose. She should have a right to choose when she has sexual relations and with whom. She has a right to choose to use birth control or not to use birth control methods. If she becomes pregnant despite (or in spite of) these choices, she has a choice to raise her child, have family raise her child, or place her child for adoption. I don't think compounding an already complex and difficult situation with the loss of a life is a viable choice. I remember seeing a bumper sticker about abortion. It said, "Abortion - one dead - one wounded". I've never read a more true statement. A woman who has endured an abortion, even "by choice", suffers in many ways for the rest of her life, no matter what she believes will occur in the after-life.

Now that Governor Palin has revealed that her 17-year-old daughter is five months pregnant, critics are coming out of the woodwork. I have parented two children (with one yet to go) who were 17 at one time. I'm not sure that anyone can cast stones if they are living in modern times. I haven't met the parents who are with their children (and what if there are more than one?) 24/7. We all teach our children our values and hope that they have learned from us. But who among us has never made a mistake or done something that could have conceivably gotten us into trouble? It happens. It happens in good families. The Kennedy family, long known as the U.S. version of royalty, didn't live in Camelot. Their children had issues with drugs, rape, suicide, drunk driving, and even murder. They weren't perfect. We revered them as if they were -- but they weren't. The fact that Sarah Palin and her husband have embraced their daughter and accepted what has happened with grace and fortitude is a sign of strength and commitment. The situation is far from ideal for them and I would wager that they didn't hope to make this announcement, whether during the Republican National Convention or not. But, they are dealing with it and supporting their daughter. They didn't, as a family, sweep it under the rug and rush her off to an abortion clinic to get rid of the problem. That would have been the easy way out, especially for a woman who could be President some day. Instead, Sarah Palin is practicing what she preaches. As a family, they have opted to respect life. I'm sure they explored the the option of adoption with their daughter, but the choice was made for her to parent this baby. I respect that. While some criticize Governor Palin's policy of promoting abstinence, I think she can have it both ways. I think she can promote abstinence and promote life at the same time. I have no doubt, her daughter knows about birth control and protection (What 17 year old in the USA is that oblivious with information everywhere?). She's a teenager and likely impulsive, and she failed. It happens. The fact that she's not compounding an unplanned pregnancy with an abortion is admirable. Sarah Palin herself opted to carry a baby with Down's Syndrome to term. She is not a pro-life mouthpiece. She is living her belief.

John McCain is pro-life. He also practices what he preaches. Many have criticized him for his wealth. So he married a woman with money! Just because they have wealth, doesn't mean they don't have core values. She has voluteered and contributed to many worthy causes and it's hard to find something negative to say about what she does for others. She has set up philanthropic foundations and is active in children's and women's health issues. While in Bangladesh, she met Mother Theresa and heeded the call to "help this little one" and brought two special-needs orphans to the United States. The McCains adopted one child and their friends adopted the other. I don't believe their critics have adopted. If they had, they would know the real value of life and of nurturing a child who needs a home.

In our world today, too many people take life for granted. Too many don't view life as having the value that it should. In some countries, little girls are abandoned and thrown away simply because they are female. In some cultures, it is an "honor" to commit suicide while killing others -- all in the name of God or Allah or whatever they choose to call our higher power. If we don't respect life at a very basic level and we don't teach our children that life begins once two cells combine and begin multiplying into what will result (barring interruption) in a human being, we can't expect that our lives or the lives of our children will be respected. As a society, we have become so callous toward death and violence on the movie screen and so indifferent towards children being abused that we are creating our own criminals with no conscience. We are disgusted by those who would take the lives of our loved ones with disregard, but they have not been taught to respect life. It does take a village.

John McCain and Sarah Palin are not perfect. I think it would be unreasonable to expect them to be. I do think, however, that they are honorable people who want the best for their families and their nation. The fact that they are willing to stake their political careers on their beliefs and fight for the unborn is honorable. I will not criticize their opponents, as I think that they mean well also. However, for those of us who feel that life is still precious and fragile and worth saving, there isn't a question about where to place our mark on the ballot.

Pro-Life and the Death Penalty

I read with sadness this morning a newspaper article on Joseph Duncan, the long-time sex offender who was convicted of the torture and murder of 9-year-old Dylan Groene, of Idaho. I read the news each and every day and make it a point to stay current on news and events. For the first time that I can recall, I sat and cried while reading this article. You may recall this case in which Dylan and his sister, Shasta, age 8, were kidnapped from the home of their mother and step-father. The parents were killed, as was their 16 year old brother, Slade. Joseph Duncan murdered the whole family with the intent of taking Dylan and Shasta, after stalking the family for some time. This predator had struck before, in Riverside County, killing 10-year-old Anthony Martinez. The evil involved in these crimes is undefinable. This is every parent's nightmare personified. Jurors in the case were shown a video of sexual abuse, torture, and death by hanging of little Dylan. Joseph Duncan taped his crimes so that he could re-live them over and over again. Shasta was forced to watch, knowing the same fate could be awaiting her. Shasta was rescued when an alert waitress notified police that the little girl looked like the missing girl on t.v.

Working in adoption, I am pro-life, as you might imagine. I like to think that I have a kind heart and wouldn't ever condone hurting anyone. However, in this case, there is no punishment too harsh -- no suffering enough -- to mitigate the crimes against the most vulnerable and innocent in our society. How many years of life did he take away? How many lives were changed because of what Joseph Duncan did? How does such a monster arrive at a place where he could possibly do such heinous things? Five people are dead. One little girl has to live with what she witnessed and the loss of her entire family. Twelve jurors, friends, and court personnel can never forget what they saw on the videotape. So, while I am very much pro-life, Mr. Duncan is the exception. He doesn't deserve to take up space or resources on this earth. I don't want any of my tax dollars going to feed or house him. He shouldn't be allowed to ever have the opportunity to do something like this again. He has received the death penalty. There will be years of appeals and he will live on for many more years before, and if, his life is taken. When it happens, it will be done quickly and humanely -- something he didn't afford his victims, certainly not Dylan or Anthony. The mere thought of what they went through haunts me.

How do we prevent this type of crime from ever happening again? How do we protect our children and our families? I wish I knew. It seems that more and more often in our world, this type of evil is making itself known. Perhaps with the advent of the internet and the availability of child porn to these predators, we are fueling their desire for children. We need to aggressively hunt down and prosecute those distributing this garbage and stop giving child predators short sentences or probation. No matter what we do, we can't help those who have already suffered and lost their lives. It makes me very sad. Dylan is my son's name. I can't even imagine...