Often times I am asked by adoptive parents how they should tell their child they were adopted. Rather than having a specific moment or an event that ends up being "that moment" when they found out they were adopted, I tell them to read books, tell the adoption story, look at pictures and always talk about it when they are little. Always, the conversation should be age-appropriate. Answer any questions they have in the most honest and positive way you can. That way, when they get older and someone asks, "When did you find out you were adopted?", the response is generally, "I always knew".
The bigger question becomes, "Why?". I recently came across a book that was written by a birth mother from that perspective, so a child can understand why they were placed for adoption. It's a good book to use to introduce the topic. It is called "The Best For You" and was written and illustrated by Kelsey Stewart, who has placed two children and is the parent of two more. In it, she explains that "Adoption is God's love given twice". This book is written for small children and lets them know that adoption is all about love. The book ends with the line "Adoption means I wanted the best for you". It's a positive look at adoption that a child can understand.
If you have an adopted child and want a good bedtime story or positive reinforcement for adoption, you should have a copy of this book on your bookshelf. You may order it on Amazon on this site.
1 comment:
Thank you Tina for bringing this book to your readers. What a thrill it is for me to see this, and just so grateful that I contacted you. Great to hear your wonderful words, and that you enjoyed the message. I only hope it can help many out there understand a little better that there are many reasons a woman might chose adoption for her child. They are always wanted, and they are more than loved.
Many thanks! ~Kelsey
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