The Glamorization of Teen Motherhood

Often times potential adoptive parents assume that their birth mother will be a teen mom. They are surprised to learn that our average birth mom is 29 and already has two children. The teen pregnancy rate has risen since 2006 in the U.S. (in comparison to Canada, where teen pregnancy has dropped 38% since 1994). Shows on television and movies tend to glamorize teen pregnancy and in recent years there has been very little, if any, social pressure on teens to avoid pregnancy. The pregnancy of Jamie Lynn Spears of "Zoey 101" and the movie "Juno", as well as other popular celebrities have desensitized us to the down side of having a baby while still so young. Our new social norm is acceptance of teen pregnancy. In 2006, 441,832 babies were born to teen moms in the U.S. That is a staggering number. The fact is, most teen moms don't place their babies for adoption, they parent. MTV has chronicled teen pregnancy in a number of shows, including "16 and Pregnant". Their most recent reality show which showcases teens who are parents is entitled "Teen Mom". Some of the teens featured have expressed a desire to show other teens how difficult parenting is as a single teen. Typically, even those who have partners end up parenting alone after the stressors and demands of parenting cause the partners to fight and part ways. Statistics show that most teen relationships don't last, despite the intense feelings and passion.

While the teen pregnancy rate has gone up, so has the incidence of abortions. The adoption rate has gone down during the same period of time. Rather than interrupting their own teen years and their education with the responsibilities of parenthood and adult decisions, we should be promoting education to prevent pregnancy and, if it happens, adoption as an acceptable means to take responsibility for what has occurred. I would love to see adoption profiled on television, and normalized to the extent that teen pregnancy has been. While it's not good for any teen to have to experience childbirth and everything that goes with it, adoption can be a win-win-win situation, with the birth parents moving forward to their own goals, childless or infertile couples being given the opportunity to have a family, and most of all, the baby landing safely in a stable, secure place where all of their needs are met, without resentment and disrupted schedules, and with the love and devotion of, ideally, two parents who are ready to meet the day to day demands of a newborn. I am a single parent, and I am not saying that single parents can't parent well. They most definitely can. But even for those of us who do it, it's not ideal. So, we shouldn't, as a society, glamorize teen pregnancy. It's not easy and it's not fair to teen moms. I've heard parents of pregnant teens say things like "You made your bed, now you have to lie in it"...meaning that somehow going it alone is the punishment for getting pregnant in the first place. Parenting should not be a punishment. It is the hardest thing anyone will ever do, and to put that responsibility on a teen girl is asking way too much, even if she thinks it's what she wants. We need to teach our teens how to act responsibly and how to protect themselves and their education from going down a path that will be hard on them and their children. No decisions should be forced on anyone, but all options should be explored and offered. Let's not glamorize pregnancy and childbirth for children.