Procrastination

Sometimes it seems easier to prolong the process of making decisions. We know what we should do, but we delay doing it, even when doing it would make life much more simple. It's human nature, but it holds us back. Fear is defined as; "The feeling or emotion of being afraid, whether the threat is real or imagined" and also as "concern or anxiety". No one likes to live in a state of anxiety. So why do we allow ourselves to linger in this state, rather than moving past it? That's a question for philosophy majors and psychiatrists everywhere. FDR said, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself". Most things we worry about will resolve themselves. Procrastination simply prolongs the inevitable -- the need to make a decision. It happens to people in all walks of life, but those who achieve their goals are not restrained by their fears. More often than not, our fears are exaggerated and unrealistic. Rarely are our worst fears realized.

In adoption, many times fear creates self-fulfilling prophecies. One couple I recall had a fear of not being chosen by a birth mother. They felt that, in their mid-40s, they were going to be considered "too old" to adopt. So they procrastinated. At some point, they realized that they weren't going to become parents by osmosis, so they finally signed up to adopt, some seven years after they first checked out the process. I can tell you from the perspective of an adoption professional that it's much harder to match a family in their 50's than one in their 40's. It's not impossible, but it's not easy. Add to that the fact that birth mothers have so many choices and it becomes quite the challenge. If they felt they might be considered "too old" at 45, I wonder why, at 52, they suddenly overcame their fear. The fact is, they didn't want to remain childless, no matter how old they were. They just complicated the process by waiting and delaying their decision. They stayed in limbo for 7 years. Do you know anyone who has done that?

It's easy to procrastinate. You don't know how cold the water is going to be until you jump in. Then, it's too late to worry about it. You're already in the pool. You can't get to the other side without first jumping in and swimming across. Sure it takes courage. You just have to decide where you want to be in the future. Do you want to be sitting there watching everyone else swim? Or do you want to take a chance and jump in? What is the down side? The fact is, you will do what you say you will do. If you say, "I can't do that", and you don't even try, you certainly can't. You may or may not make it to all of your goals, but there are plenty of people who won't let you drown. You can always set new goals and begin again.

If you consider that five years from now, you'll be in the same place (only older) than you are now unless you make the effort to change your circumstances, it's pretty much a no-brainer. Stories of courage don't happen because of people who choose to sit on the sidelines and allow others to determine their fate. Those who succeed failed many times before they achieved their best. Reach for the stars and you might just catch one.