Birth - An Out Of Body Experience

The last couple of weeks have been busy ones. Usually in life, and in adoption particularly, it seems that the boys generally outnumber the girls, but it's been a good week and we've had two girls born and another one should make her appearance on Thursday this week. We're happy to have any baby God has in store for us, but girls are hard to find for adoptive parents who have a preference, so we're happy we have a few new baby girls in the world. Ironically, those parents who have a preference for baby girls outnumber the parents who have a preference for baby boys. Of course, plenty of adoptive parents don't have a preference, so there is a good match for everyone out there.

Many adoption professionals don't work with families who have a preference, perhaps feeling that if you give birth, you can't choose. However, we feel that as long as a family is willing to take a chance that the sonogram might be wrong and go with flow, we'll work with families who have a gender preference. Most families want a particular gender because they already have one (or more) of the opposite gender. It's understandable that families want the gender they don't have, and with adoptive parents who have been through so much with infertility treatments and perhaps failed pregnancies, it seems only fair that they have an advantage somewhere. It's just important that they know that gender selection can take much longer, since only a small percentage of birth moms are going to know the gender before they match.

This year, there has been a strange phenomena. We've had a few birth moms give birth at home on the floor or in their bed, and not on purpose. It can be very risky when this happens. In one situation, there was a cord looped around the baby's neck -- a very dangerous situation for those who haven't been trained in childbirth and infant resuscitation. This last week, a birth mom in Michigan was at home and everything was perfectly normal. She didn't have labor pains, just a sudden urge to push. Out popped a baby girl and birth mom was alone and had to cut her own cord and call for paramedics. I can't help but think that had to be traumatic with no one there to help, but baby and birth mom are fine.

Of course when babies are born at home without the benefit of a nurse or midwife, there is a greater chance of infection or sepsis, so antibiotics are generally administered in order to keep the infant healthy and stave off infection. Most women who have given birth probably can't imagine this scenario because with first babies, it's not unusual for the pushing alone to take a couple of hours. Average first labors can last around 12 hours.

So, Brian and Bridgette, congratulations and welcome baby Haley! I have a feeling that you may be dealing with a little girl who will get where she wants to go in a hurry. Put on your running shoes! We can't wait to meet her.