Today is the last day of 2008. It's a time for reflection and renewal. It's been a year of joy and also sadness. Perhaps that is true of any year. I stumbled upon a quote that I found relevant when reflecting.
"They whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before. They are now...wherever we are."
I wish everyone a peaceful and prosperous new year. I hope you will join me in praying for peace and also for the well-being of those who are helpless -- babies, animals, the elderly, and the disabled. Please pray for our soldiers, officers, and firemen, who protect us even as we sleep. Blessings and love are wished for each of you and I hold all of you in my heart. Happy New Year 2009! I challenge you to pay it forward and do good things.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
A Christmas Heartbreak
It's happened again. In Santa Rosa County, Florida, along a wooded stretch of highway near Clear Creek Road and Highway 87, adjacent to a sign which says "no littering", a family walking their dog in the woods was shocked when their dog alerted them and they stumbled upon a newborn baby. The baby had been left out in the elements to die. It did. Police haven't even released the gender of the baby or any details, but even without knowing all of that, my heart is broken. No matter how I try to rationalize why someone would do this, I can't come up with any reasonable answer. There are safe haven laws. There are adoption agencies. There are hospitals and there are shelters. There are so many places where a newborn would stand a chance. There are so many people who would lovingly stretch out their arms, no questions asked, to receive the child. I have no doubt the infant's mother knew there were ways to keep her baby safe. It's impossible to grow up within our society and not know this. I have no doubt that the baby was left there intentionally with the thought that it would most certainly perish. I will always ask why.
It's Christmastime and in just a couple of days we will welcome a New Year -- a fresh start, with renewed hope. At least that's what most people will do. I wonder about the mother who left her child in the woods. I wonder about the family who obviously didn't embrace her pregnancy. I wonder how we could have prevented this tragedy. How do we educate those who would do this? There are so many loving homes waiting. This was a preventable death. This child didn't need to die cold and alone in the forest. There was a warm home and a clean bed waiting for this child. There were many. How is this possible? I'm not sure how to begin to forgive for such an atrocity. Please pray for the young woman at the heart of this heartbreak. She has sacrificed more than the life of her child -- she has sacrificed her soul. "Abandonment" is a word that should never be used in the same sentence as the word "Mother".
This is only one child. But who would this child be? Would this child grow to be a Pulitzer prize winning author, or perhaps a gifted musician, or a surgeon who pioneered a new procedure? Would this child have married and had children or been a holy man or a peacemaker? How did the death of this one baby impact the world? The ripples in the pond are endless. With one senseless act, our world has changed dramatically. We will never know how profoundly.
It's Christmastime and in just a couple of days we will welcome a New Year -- a fresh start, with renewed hope. At least that's what most people will do. I wonder about the mother who left her child in the woods. I wonder about the family who obviously didn't embrace her pregnancy. I wonder how we could have prevented this tragedy. How do we educate those who would do this? There are so many loving homes waiting. This was a preventable death. This child didn't need to die cold and alone in the forest. There was a warm home and a clean bed waiting for this child. There were many. How is this possible? I'm not sure how to begin to forgive for such an atrocity. Please pray for the young woman at the heart of this heartbreak. She has sacrificed more than the life of her child -- she has sacrificed her soul. "Abandonment" is a word that should never be used in the same sentence as the word "Mother".
This is only one child. But who would this child be? Would this child grow to be a Pulitzer prize winning author, or perhaps a gifted musician, or a surgeon who pioneered a new procedure? Would this child have married and had children or been a holy man or a peacemaker? How did the death of this one baby impact the world? The ripples in the pond are endless. With one senseless act, our world has changed dramatically. We will never know how profoundly.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Christmas Spirit
When it gets close to the holidays, I love opening my mail. It's not the usual junk mail and bills. The holiday cards start arriving and, with them, the pictures of our babies and children, with news of their year. It's the highlight of my day when I get to sit down and read over all of the cards. Today, I opened my mail and, as usual, posted all of the pictures of families and the children and cards on a wooden cabinet in the main hallway of our office where everyone can see them. As I got to the last envelope, I was disheartened by what I found myself reading.
Suzi and Jeff adopted Katie 11 years ago. When they decided to adopt again, along came Jillian, now a spunky 7 year old. Their family complete, they settled into what should have been an idyllic life. Then Jeff got sick. This year, the cancer that made Jeff so ill took his life, leaving Suzi to raise the girls by herself. To go through life, chapter by chapter, sharing the pain, the joy, the heartaches and the triumphs, only to be unable to finish the book is profoundly unfair. But, life isn't fair. Katie and Jillian are learning this at a tender age. This will be their first Christmas without their father there to put together toys or eat the cookies left for Santa.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced losses that cause us to understand how precious life is. It's not a club that anyone wants to be in and, yet, only those who are in it truly understand. Suzi, I am supremely saddened by your loss and I pray that you, Katie, and Jillian will heal and receive blessings beyond whatever you thought possible after such a difficult time in your life. The holidays can be a tough time, especially so soon after you've lost someone you love. You will continue to see Jeff in each one of the girls as they grow.
Jeff, just like Suzi, wanted to be a parent and worked hard to achieve that goal. He had to leave too soon to see his girls learn to drive, go on a first date, or walk them down the aisle. But I am certain that he is watching them every step of the way and cheering every accomplishment from the sidelines. I'm sure he would say he is so proud of Suzi and his girls. I'm sure he would say we should all cherish our loved ones and never take them for granted. We should love one another and spread the Christmas spirit all year long. That's really what Christmas is all about. Rest in peace, Jeff.
Suzi and Jeff adopted Katie 11 years ago. When they decided to adopt again, along came Jillian, now a spunky 7 year old. Their family complete, they settled into what should have been an idyllic life. Then Jeff got sick. This year, the cancer that made Jeff so ill took his life, leaving Suzi to raise the girls by herself. To go through life, chapter by chapter, sharing the pain, the joy, the heartaches and the triumphs, only to be unable to finish the book is profoundly unfair. But, life isn't fair. Katie and Jillian are learning this at a tender age. This will be their first Christmas without their father there to put together toys or eat the cookies left for Santa.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced losses that cause us to understand how precious life is. It's not a club that anyone wants to be in and, yet, only those who are in it truly understand. Suzi, I am supremely saddened by your loss and I pray that you, Katie, and Jillian will heal and receive blessings beyond whatever you thought possible after such a difficult time in your life. The holidays can be a tough time, especially so soon after you've lost someone you love. You will continue to see Jeff in each one of the girls as they grow.
Jeff, just like Suzi, wanted to be a parent and worked hard to achieve that goal. He had to leave too soon to see his girls learn to drive, go on a first date, or walk them down the aisle. But I am certain that he is watching them every step of the way and cheering every accomplishment from the sidelines. I'm sure he would say he is so proud of Suzi and his girls. I'm sure he would say we should all cherish our loved ones and never take them for granted. We should love one another and spread the Christmas spirit all year long. That's really what Christmas is all about. Rest in peace, Jeff.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Welcome Alec and the New Year!
It seems I have barely gotten used to writing "2008" and it's already December! We'll be writing "2009" before we know it. I am amazed at how quickly the year has passed. It's been quite a year. We've had good times and bad times. The economy seems to be at an all time low -- at least within our lifetime. And yet, life goes on, the cycle is unbroken. Loved ones pass away, people who are important to us vanish from our lives, and new babies are born. Our lives change and time marches on. Sometimes we look back and it's hard to believe it's just been a year because the landscape of our lives is so different than it once was. We find ourselves at crossroads where decisions are made to take one fork of the road or the other (we can go down radically different paths). Either way, we don't stay in the same place. Hopefully we end up in a better place for the decisions we've made. I am looking forward to 2009. I believe it will be a very good year for all of us. The economy will likely get better (could it really get worse?), and at A Labor of Love we have some plans to expand our footprints on the adoption world. It's been a generally slow year for adoptions, pretty much everywhere as far as I can tell. Some major adoption agencies have closed their doors. We're still here! For this, we are thankful. And every day brings new promise and more opportunity. This past week, we have been able to reflect on what we are thankful for. I am thankful for my clients, my friends, our birth mothers, and the ability to do the amazing work I have been fortunate enough to fall into. It's not always easy and it can be highly emotionally charged, but more often than not, we see miracles in the making. I see God's hand in my work every day, without fail. I know that I am blessed by being able to help (in some small way) to build families. In fact, I want to wish Alec Braden Summa a happy birthday! Alec was born here in California on 11-26-08, at 8 lbs., 6 oz. Since he was born on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, he was released from the hospital on Friday, the day after. His birth mother promptly went home on Friday, and on Saturday - three days after giving birth - cooked a Thanksgiving Dinner for her family and the adoptive family of little Alec. What a gift she gave -- and she just kept on giving. That's really a shining example of what Thanksgiving is all about. She was giving thanks to the adoptive family and they were giving thanks to her -- all were thankful for the birth of little Alec. He couldn't be more loved. He couldn't be more wanted. Everyone is blessed. That's what I mean about seeing God's hand in our work. Thanks, God! We're all grateful for your most recent miracle.
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