Heartbreak in Guatemala

The BBC is reporting today that babies have been stolen "to order" in Guatemala. Currently, the U.S. is not allowing adoptions from Guatemala until the country is Hague-compliant, however, for years couples have been able to adopt in fairly short order from Guatemala. Agencies and attorneys in the United States networked with Guatemalan agencies, attorneys, and facilitators to find adoptable children in a country where many were placed legitimately simply because their families couldn't feed them. It is being reported now that babies have been stolen in order to place them in the homes of adoptive families in the U.S. In a very poor country, the money that changed hands for "orphaned" babies (some couples paid upward of $30,000.00) was apparently enough to incite unscrupulous baby brokers to steal the children of women who had no desire to place them for adoption. One mother has found her daughter by looking through hundreds of pictures and video tapes. DNA proved the link between the two. Many more are searching for the children that were taken. There is no good outcome in this situation. Even though they are poor, women who had their children stolen have every right to have them back. In the U.S., adoptive families unaware of the dark circumstances under which their children came to them, face uncertainty about what may happen if it is found that they were stolen and placed illegally. In most cases, both families were innocent victims. As investigations go on, almost certainly some of these babies will be reclaimed as it is determined through DNA that they are missing children. Records have apparently been altered and falsified to hide the facts, so for many the truth will never be discovered. The anguish of the mothers who lost their children is indescribable. Some face a lifetime of heartbreak. The anguish of the adoptive families who lose what they long sought to find will be equally heart-wrenching. How could this have happened? The Guatemalan government needs to answer this question and many more. This is the stuff that adoption nightmares are made of, and why so many people are afraid to adopt.

How do you know how to choose an agency, attorney, or facilitator? Nothing is ever fool-proof, but if the cost seems out of the ordinary and much higher than you anticipated, keep looking. Make sure that your adoption professional can provide references, and lots of them. If they have hundreds of families willing to vouch for them, they are doing something right. If they don't, keep shopping for a better professional to represent you. If someone is reluctant to give you references and cites "privacy" as an issue, know that when adoptive parents are happy with an adoption professional, they are typically happy to talk with other potential adoptive parents and share their story, and they give permission to share their information. They were in the same place months or years before and needed the same reassurance. Network with other adoptive families -- they are great resources. Our adoptive families are encouraged to get to know other adoptive families for support and so that the kids know other adopted children. This is a win-win situation. If an adoption professional wants to keep everyone apart, that could be a red flag. I have more to say on agencies or attorneys who "market" birth mothers and adoptive families on the internet. More on that tomorrow...