Women's Intuition

Over the Thanksgiving holiday I found myself at the bookstore having a quiet cup of coffee with my fiance, Joseph. Although I love it, it's been a while since I allowed myself the time to wander through aisles of books and just browse for a while. I came across a book I had read, but forgot about, since I tend to loan books to friends (and sometimes never see them again as they make the rounds). "To Die For" by Kathy Braidhill is a true story which details the crimes of Dana Sue Gray, the first female serial killer convicted in the history of Riverside County, California. I read it a few years ago. It is set in Southwest Riverside County, where I live. It was interesting to read a true story that detailed settings in areas with which I am familiar. It seems a little surreal when you are reading about places you have visited or roads you travel daily, knowing that the person (the murderer) being discussed has visited those same places.

Dana Sue Gray was a nurse. She worked in the post-partum unit of a local hospital. To think of someone taking care of post-partum mothers and newborns and then going out and murdering people is hard to grasp. The fact is, she was discharged from her job, presumably for issues with drugs that were missing from the unit, so there was obviously an underlying problem that perhaps caused her to lose her way and her perspective.

Women have intuition. When I meet someone, I generally have a "gut feeling" about them and I instantly know how I feel about them. I pretty much like everyone and can identify their strengths and qualities. When I worked at Inland Valley Regional Medical Center on the OB unit, I enjoyed my job and had many friends who were nurses. One day, I was introduced to a new nurse. I had a reaction like none I've ever had before. I instantly disliked her. I felt guilty about that at the time. Our nurse manager and I discussed it and she wondered why I felt that way because she liked her. I couldn't explain it, but I asked not to be scheduled to work with this nurse and most of the time I wasn't. When it was necessary to work with her, I avoided her. Her name was Dana Sue Gray. Years later, when I would learn what happened, I remembered my feelings about her. Dana and I shared a workplace and even some friends, but I could never bring myself to like her or even to fake it. When I read this book I realized that we, as women, should never question our intuition. It's there for a reason and it didn't fail me.

Nebraska gets it right!

I blogged recently about the Nebraska legal debacle regarding the "safe haven" law that had been enacted there. Nebraska was one of the last states to actually enact a safe haven law and the author of the original bill included any minor children through the age of 18. This created untold problems when, even as recently as last Thursday, teenagers were routinely being dropped off at hospitals there. One distraught father (his wife had died) left nine children on the doorstep of a hospital. Another complication occurred because the state of Nebraska stops taking children into foster care when they turn 18, and the law didn't account for this. Some teens who were between the ages of 18 and 19 were left there and couldn't be put into foster care. That created quite a dilemma. As a result, the Nebraska legislature convened in a special session last Friday to correct the law that was creating so much controversy and leaving children in the lurch. Once again, the author of the original bill modified it too far in the other direction, indicating a 3 day (72 hour) time limit from the birth to drop off the child in a safe haven location (police station, fire house, or hospital).

This didn't make much sense to me. It takes a fair amount of pressure, strife, or financial distress to bring anyone to the point where they feel there are no options other than to abandon their children. That doesn't usually occur in the first 72 hours of the child's life. Typically, they are in the hospital for most of that time. By the time they go home with their mother and the family runs out of formula, diapers, patience, or resources, it's long past that 72 hour limit. So, while the new version of the law may have saved a very few precious lives of children presumably born at home, the overall purpose of the law was, again, being overlooked.

Hearing about the special session, I blogged about it, and took it a little further, e-mailing all of the Nebraska State legislators with my personal opinion about appropriate time frames. My suggestion was 0-6 months, enough time for new parents to be overwhelmed and in a position to make such a decision. I received a number of responses, ironically (or not), mostly from the women legislators, who were very sympathetic. One senator asked me to come and speak before the special session. While I would have done that gladly had it been convenient and time-efficient, I was unable to make a commitment to do that. However, I did make sure all involved knew what the spirit of the law should be and why the time frames proposed were, in essence, preposterous.

The legislators met last Friday and, while they didn't approve what I had suggested (0-6 months of age), they did get a little more reasonable in their time frame. The end result was a safe haven law that allows parents to safely surrender their newborns up to the age of 30 days. I am not really sure how the age of the child would be determined if the identity of the child is unknown, and I do feel that the time frame still doesn't cover the need, however, they are moving in the right direction now.

So, a big Thanksgiving Thank You to those folks in Nebraska who took the time to reconvene the legislature during their off time to fix something that was broken. We are all thankful when the life of a baby(any baby) is saved. It's no small miracle and I am hopeful that, indeed, some little ones will benefit from this new law.