Write It Down - Journaling While You Wait

The overwhelming majority of our adoptive families come to us after a struggle with infertility issues. One adoptive mother told me that the treatment for her secondary infertility was "ten times worse than the hormonal mood swings you deal with during pregnancy". It's no wonder, then, that potential adoptive parents are stressed and nervous about adoption right from the onset. Several of our adoptive parents have used journaling to get through the rough time waiting to become parents. I think this is a great way to be pro-active and yet, more relaxed, during the inevitable time it takes to adopt. Journaling not only provides an outlet in which to vent feelings and frustrations, it also creates a living record of the emotions that you were feeling during your "pregnancy" whether it lasted nine months, nine weeks, or years. It is a document that shows your child, years from now, how much you ached to hold him or yearned to have her. It is a reminder of the things you learned along the way -- lessons that will assist you later in parenthood dilemmas. It's great practice for problem-solving that will come with mothering or fathering. You can take a journal with you to doctor visits to document your feelings and fears. You can take it on vacation so you can journal during reflective times and ponder emotions which may be in overdrive. Writing has always been an outlet for me. I think journaling is a healthy way to get through the anxiety and the wait and to remember the value we placed on parenting, long after we have become parents and the newness has worn off.