November is National Adoption Month! How will you celebrate? There are some things you can do to help educate and promote adoption awareness such as;
* Buy a few children's books on adoption and donate them your local library or school.
* Talk to local librarians about reading adoption stories in reading groups to make children more aware of adoption.
* Discuss with teachers the difficulties faced by adoptive children when faced with assignments that can cause them grief ("How do I fill out a family tree when I don't know?"). Make them aware of how certain discussions can make adopted children feel uncomfortable.
* Talk with elementary school administrators and ask them to acknowledge National Adoption Month in classrooms and open dialogue with students concerning adoption.
* Share with adopted children the positive aspects of adoption and make note of famous people who have been adopted. Note their accomplishments and let them know that they can be anyone they want to be.
* Call your local newspaper, radio, or t.v. channel and make them aware of National Adoption Month. Ask if they are planning an article or discussion and offer to help with information.
* Honor birth mothers by sending a card of thanks and remember them in your prayers.
Find teachable moments to explain the adoption process and the difference between birth families and adoptive or "forever" families to teachers or clergy. Share that adopted children have two families who love them very much. Don't assume that just because someone is in a position of teaching that they already know about adoption -- many don't. Use National Adoption Month to make those around you aware of how powerful adoption is and what a difference it makes in the lives of those who participate in the triad. We all know someone who was adopted and adoption has literally touched everyone's life. Perhaps a good assignment for the teachers out there would be to have their students write a short essay on "How Adoption Touched My Life". I bet there would be a lot of great stories to share!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Racial Considerations
With all the talk about the Presidential race, we're hearing about tolerance (or the lack of it) in the media. At various universities and campaign venues around the country, negative racial stereotypes are rearing their ugly heads in response to Barack Obama's candidacy. Even though it is quite possible that Obama will become our next President, the fact remains that, even in this great country of ours, there are still racial barriers. There are still invisible racial lines that are not crossed. How does this affect adoption? The fact is, while there are not enough Caucasian babies for all of the Caucasian families who wish to adopt, there are more African-American babies than there are African-American families to take them. What does this mean for the African-American baby who is being placed for adoption? It means that many of them will go into trans-racial homes. There is nothing wrong with a trans-racial adoption. However, it does come with it's challenges. Every child deserves to know their heritage, where they came from, who they are. Ideally, a child will be matched with a family of the same race. Barring that, a loving home is better than a foster home or no home at all. Can a Caucasian family effectively raise a black child? Certainly. Comedian Tommy Davidson is a good example. He was raised by a white woman who had two white children. He states that he never knew he was different until they moved to Washington D.C., what he terms "the blackest city in America" and the kids started calling his siblings "cracker". When he came home and told his mother, she sat him down and said, "Tommy, I have to tell you now -- you're black". While that sounds comical (and it is when coming from him), it can be devastating to a child to feel out of place (white or black). It happens more often with African-American kids because of the disproportionate number of black families out there adopting them.
The African-American community understandably feels that black children should be raised in black homes. This may be the ideal, but it's not the reality. So, with that knowledge, what can we do to make an adopted child (in this case a black child) feel more included, more welcomed, more a part of a family? Any time there is a trans-racial adoption, parents should be well informed about what they can do to help their child embrace their own culture and heritage. If your child is African-American, provide them with books to read in which the subjects are the same as they are. Provide them with black art. Take them to places where they can see others who resemble them. Provide black role models and influences in their lives. Be aware that even though you can love them, you can't pass on your own heritage alone -- you have to pass on theirs. They deserve nothing less.
The world has come a very long way in the past 40 years. Some of us remember the racial riots in Watts and Chicago. Some of us remember the devastation felt when Martin Luther King was assassinated. I even remember Rosa Parks, a courageous woman who refused to be treated as a second class citizen and literally single-handedly changed the thinking in America. Tomorrow, October 24th, is the third anniversary of her death. In remembrance of Rosa Parks and those who have come after her to blaze the trails of racial equality, think about what you can do to help a child realize their culture and their value, no matter what race they are.
The African-American community understandably feels that black children should be raised in black homes. This may be the ideal, but it's not the reality. So, with that knowledge, what can we do to make an adopted child (in this case a black child) feel more included, more welcomed, more a part of a family? Any time there is a trans-racial adoption, parents should be well informed about what they can do to help their child embrace their own culture and heritage. If your child is African-American, provide them with books to read in which the subjects are the same as they are. Provide them with black art. Take them to places where they can see others who resemble them. Provide black role models and influences in their lives. Be aware that even though you can love them, you can't pass on your own heritage alone -- you have to pass on theirs. They deserve nothing less.
The world has come a very long way in the past 40 years. Some of us remember the racial riots in Watts and Chicago. Some of us remember the devastation felt when Martin Luther King was assassinated. I even remember Rosa Parks, a courageous woman who refused to be treated as a second class citizen and literally single-handedly changed the thinking in America. Tomorrow, October 24th, is the third anniversary of her death. In remembrance of Rosa Parks and those who have come after her to blaze the trails of racial equality, think about what you can do to help a child realize their culture and their value, no matter what race they are.
Monday, October 13, 2008
For-profit vs. Not-for-profit or "non-profit"
Many times the question is posed to me whether A Labor of Love Adoptions is "non-profit" or "for profit". There is more to the answer than you might think. I have served on non-profit boards, as well as for-profit boards. The term "not-for-profit" is defined as "a legally constituted organization whose objective is to support or engage in activities of public or private interest without any commercial or monetary profit". That means, at the end of the day (or year) there is no extra money to disburse to owners or shareholders. Most "non-profit" organizations do indeed make a profit, so what makes them different than a "for-profit" organization? When an organization designates themselves "non-profit", they generally have a 501(c)3 status. This enables them to solicit funds from donors, have fund-raising events, and accept cash donations. They are governed by a board of directors and decisions affecting the organization must be decided by the board. So, if someone is hired or fired, the board must approve. If an event is planned, the board must approve. As far as profits go, many non-profits make more in the way of true profits than non-profits. The difference is, whatever profit is actually realized must be put back into the organization (thus, there is no profit). This can be done a number of ways. State of the art computer systems and phone systems can be purchased. Office renovations and upgrades can be done. Real estate can be purchased. Staff and officers can take the added funds in bonuses or pay raises. 401Ks for staff members can be set up.
For some reason, when people hear the word "for profit", they automatically think that those who work in a for profit situation are greedy or "aren't in it for the right reasons". This couldn't be further from the truth. In actuality, our "for profit" facilitating service costs adoptive families much less than a full service non-profit agency adoption. Part of that is because simply by being an agency, the costs go up (added insurance costs and requirements by the state which are passed on to the adoptive parents). The other part is that when running a "for profit", the owner or owners make the decisions. Day to day operations aren't governed by a board, but rather someone who is in charge. If that person is experienced and doing a good job, the costs can be kept down.
For the entire first year that my company was in business, I didn't take a salary from my "for profit" corporation. I put as much as I could back into the business, doing extra advertising. That couldn't continue forever, but in our case, we spend operating funds on items such as office rent, phones, salaries for staff, and other office overhead. After that, everything goes into advertising. Our clients get the most for their advertising dollars.
The two most expensive adoption operations that I am aware of are both "not-for-profit". I won't name names here, but you can find them fairly easily if you start looking into adoption. They charge 35-40K per adoption, almost triple what our families end up paying for their adoptions. In one instance, the agency requires birth mothers to get on medicaid (this is traditional), but then charges each family for a "medical pay", which is almost never needed. Where does that extra money then go? Into their "non-profit" pockets. Of course, not all non-profit organizations do this. I know plenty who are doing what they do for the right reasons and are very diligent about where they spend their money. Just be aware that the designation "non-profit" or "for profit" shouldn't be interpreted to mean exactly what it sounds like.
For some reason, when people hear the word "for profit", they automatically think that those who work in a for profit situation are greedy or "aren't in it for the right reasons". This couldn't be further from the truth. In actuality, our "for profit" facilitating service costs adoptive families much less than a full service non-profit agency adoption. Part of that is because simply by being an agency, the costs go up (added insurance costs and requirements by the state which are passed on to the adoptive parents). The other part is that when running a "for profit", the owner or owners make the decisions. Day to day operations aren't governed by a board, but rather someone who is in charge. If that person is experienced and doing a good job, the costs can be kept down.
For the entire first year that my company was in business, I didn't take a salary from my "for profit" corporation. I put as much as I could back into the business, doing extra advertising. That couldn't continue forever, but in our case, we spend operating funds on items such as office rent, phones, salaries for staff, and other office overhead. After that, everything goes into advertising. Our clients get the most for their advertising dollars.
The two most expensive adoption operations that I am aware of are both "not-for-profit". I won't name names here, but you can find them fairly easily if you start looking into adoption. They charge 35-40K per adoption, almost triple what our families end up paying for their adoptions. In one instance, the agency requires birth mothers to get on medicaid (this is traditional), but then charges each family for a "medical pay", which is almost never needed. Where does that extra money then go? Into their "non-profit" pockets. Of course, not all non-profit organizations do this. I know plenty who are doing what they do for the right reasons and are very diligent about where they spend their money. Just be aware that the designation "non-profit" or "for profit" shouldn't be interpreted to mean exactly what it sounds like.
Recommended Reading - "Gianna"
If you'd like to read a book that will open your eyes concerning abortion, take a look at "Gianna" by Jessica Shaver. It is the story of a child who was aborted -- and lived. There is a lot to be learned by this young woman's story. You can find it at your local bookstore or at www.barnesandnoble.com.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Election 2008 and the ever-present abortion debate
This November, there is more at stake than who should be our next President. In several states, there are life or death measures on the ballot. California voters will have a chance to make a difference with Proposition 4, which seeks to require notification of parents or guardians when unemancipated minors seek an abortion. My 14 year old son can't take an aspirin at school without parental permission. His girlfriend, however, can have a surgical procedure which includes anesthesia and significant blood loss. I can imagine a teenager going to get an abortion and not revealing (or not knowing) important past medical history, which could prove not only dangerous, but fatal. Presumably her parents would be notified if that happened. It seems ludicrous to me that I have control over whether my child can go to a movie or school dance, but I have no control over whether an abortion is performed on her. This measure is meant to protect young people and reduce the rate of abortion. I realize that most young people fear telling their parents about the fact that they have been sexually active. Some opponents of this initiative and others like it argue that these children are at risk from abusive parents if they tell them. My argument to that is to get them out of that abusive home. Let them tell a school counselor, teacher, trusted friend, or clergy person who could intervene and make sure that they are not at risk. We were all teenagers once and we likely all feared how parents would react if confronted with that very issue. The reality is that even though there would likely be some repercussions, most parents would get over the initial anger and support their children. Proposition 4 provides for judicial override of the notification requirement "based on clear and convincing evidence of the minor's maturity or best interests". Parents can also sign a Department of Health Services form authorizing an abortion without prior parental notice. No notice is required if a physician concludes that the abortion is necessary to save the minor's life. That would account for considerably less than 1% of the abortions requested by teens.
A few statistics to think about...
* The consequences of Roe v. Wade -- 48, 589,993 abortions. Of course, in the time it has taken you to read this blog article, the number has increased and continues to do so.
* Nearly half of all pregnancies among American women are unintended. 4 in 10 of those unplanned pregnancies are terminated by abortion.
* In the U.S. 22% of all pregnancies end in abortion.
* In 2005, the most recent year that statistics are readily available, 1.21 million abortions were performed in the U.S.
* At current rates, one-third of all American women will have had an abortion by the age of 45.
* The risk of death associated with abortion increases with the length of time the pregnancy has progressed. At under eight weeks, there is one death for every million abortions. There is one death per 29,000 procedures when the pregnancy is 16-20 weeks. At 21 or more weeks, there is one death per 11,000.
* Teens are more likely than older women to delay having an abortion until after 15 weeks of pregnancy, when the medical risks are significantly higher.
Some would argue that without legal abortion, more women would die due to seeking illegal abortions. The fact is that before the first legalized abortions, the death rate from back alley abortions had already dropped quite significantly. The reason? The availability of antibiotics to combat infection. Once Penicillin was readily available, the death rate when down. the U.S. Bureau of Vital Statistics reports that in 1972, the year BEFORE Roe v. Wade, there were only 39 women who died from illegal abortions. By comparison, there were 54 deaths from legal abortions when Roe v. Wade passed. In 1975, 87% of obstetricians and gynecologists in the U.S. had to hospitalize at least one patient due to complications of legal abortions.
The following are possible complications of abortion:
* Genital tract infection is a common occurrence (according to a report by Johns-Hopkins University in the American Journal of OB/GYN vol 128, no. 5, 1977)
* infection, hemorrhage, or uterine perforation, which can all result in death.
* pelvic abscess due to perforation of the uterus and sometimes the bowel, which can also result in death.
* infection of the uterus or fallopian tubes can do permanent damage. With infection, a fallopian tube can be sealed shut, causing future reproduction difficulties.
* uncontrolled bleeding, sometimes requiring blood transfusions and sometimes resulting in death. Approximately 16,000 women annually are transfused due to post-abortion complications. Viral hepatitis is transmitted in up to 10% of those cases. Ultimately, 32 deaths result annually from hepatitis transmitted during or after abortions. AIDS can also be transmitted, although screening for AIDS is much more thorough than previously.
* blood clots. While blood clots can also be the cause of death of mothers who deliver babies normally, they can also cause death in otherwise healthy women who have abortions.
* amniotic fluid embolism has "emerged as an important cause of death from legally induced abortion. Treatment is ineffective." (American Journal of OB/GYN, vol 41, 1981)
* disseminated intravascular coagulation. This is a sudden drop in blood clotting ability which can cause extensive internal bleeding and death. This can result from hyper-tonic saline abortions. (JAMA, vol 225., No.1, July 1973). In recent years, this has been used less commonly.
The statistics regarding deaths due to abortion are hazy because some deaths do not occur until weeks or months later and are the result of complications of the procedure. These cases are not always reported as being due to abortion. For example, if a perforated uterus leads to a pelvic abscess and sepsis (or blood poisoning), which leads to death, the official cause listed may list pelvic abscess and septicemia, rather than abortion. Death due to an ectopic pregnancy years later caused by scarring of the fallopian tubes would not be reported as a death due to abortion, even though the cause of the closed fallopian tubes was the abortion.
Depression and guilt following abortion has lead to suicide. While the actual cause was the abortion, the cause of death listed is suicide. It's impossible to calculate the actual death rates caused by abortion because of the length of time it takes for some of these deaths to occur. Because the death rate is under-reported, the statistics are actually much lower than the reality.
Women will die from pregnancy and abortion. For those who die from abortion, the numbers have drastically reduced in the years since antibiotics became more available. Now, the only difference is that more mothers are dying from legal, rather than illegal, abortions.
We'll talk about the motivation of the abortion mills in a future blog, but for now my message is simply this -- Our daughters are precious and the lives they could potentially carry are equally precious. I saw a bumper sticker once that said "Abortion: One dead, one wounded". It stuck with me because it's so true. I once did some lay counseling for an organization which provided a safe haven for women who experienced unplanned pregnancy. I recall one woman telling me, "After all these years I can't forgive myself for killing my first child". After having three children, she realized that the baby she aborted was, in fact, the same as any one of them. It is no longer taboo to be pregnant out of wedlock. It is no longer shameful to give birth if you are not married. In fact 45% of all babies born last year in the U.S. were born to single mothers. There is no longer any reason to hide in shame simply because of a pregnancy. There are better alternatives than the ones being presented to our children. I, for one, would feel that MY rights were violated if someone performed surgery on one of my children without me knowing about it. Consider these things when you go to the polls in November and vote to respect life.
A few statistics to think about...
* The consequences of Roe v. Wade -- 48, 589,993 abortions. Of course, in the time it has taken you to read this blog article, the number has increased and continues to do so.
* Nearly half of all pregnancies among American women are unintended. 4 in 10 of those unplanned pregnancies are terminated by abortion.
* In the U.S. 22% of all pregnancies end in abortion.
* In 2005, the most recent year that statistics are readily available, 1.21 million abortions were performed in the U.S.
* At current rates, one-third of all American women will have had an abortion by the age of 45.
* The risk of death associated with abortion increases with the length of time the pregnancy has progressed. At under eight weeks, there is one death for every million abortions. There is one death per 29,000 procedures when the pregnancy is 16-20 weeks. At 21 or more weeks, there is one death per 11,000.
* Teens are more likely than older women to delay having an abortion until after 15 weeks of pregnancy, when the medical risks are significantly higher.
Some would argue that without legal abortion, more women would die due to seeking illegal abortions. The fact is that before the first legalized abortions, the death rate from back alley abortions had already dropped quite significantly. The reason? The availability of antibiotics to combat infection. Once Penicillin was readily available, the death rate when down. the U.S. Bureau of Vital Statistics reports that in 1972, the year BEFORE Roe v. Wade, there were only 39 women who died from illegal abortions. By comparison, there were 54 deaths from legal abortions when Roe v. Wade passed. In 1975, 87% of obstetricians and gynecologists in the U.S. had to hospitalize at least one patient due to complications of legal abortions.
The following are possible complications of abortion:
* Genital tract infection is a common occurrence (according to a report by Johns-Hopkins University in the American Journal of OB/GYN vol 128, no. 5, 1977)
* infection, hemorrhage, or uterine perforation, which can all result in death.
* pelvic abscess due to perforation of the uterus and sometimes the bowel, which can also result in death.
* infection of the uterus or fallopian tubes can do permanent damage. With infection, a fallopian tube can be sealed shut, causing future reproduction difficulties.
* uncontrolled bleeding, sometimes requiring blood transfusions and sometimes resulting in death. Approximately 16,000 women annually are transfused due to post-abortion complications. Viral hepatitis is transmitted in up to 10% of those cases. Ultimately, 32 deaths result annually from hepatitis transmitted during or after abortions. AIDS can also be transmitted, although screening for AIDS is much more thorough than previously.
* blood clots. While blood clots can also be the cause of death of mothers who deliver babies normally, they can also cause death in otherwise healthy women who have abortions.
* amniotic fluid embolism has "emerged as an important cause of death from legally induced abortion. Treatment is ineffective." (American Journal of OB/GYN, vol 41, 1981)
* disseminated intravascular coagulation. This is a sudden drop in blood clotting ability which can cause extensive internal bleeding and death. This can result from hyper-tonic saline abortions. (JAMA, vol 225., No.1, July 1973). In recent years, this has been used less commonly.
The statistics regarding deaths due to abortion are hazy because some deaths do not occur until weeks or months later and are the result of complications of the procedure. These cases are not always reported as being due to abortion. For example, if a perforated uterus leads to a pelvic abscess and sepsis (or blood poisoning), which leads to death, the official cause listed may list pelvic abscess and septicemia, rather than abortion. Death due to an ectopic pregnancy years later caused by scarring of the fallopian tubes would not be reported as a death due to abortion, even though the cause of the closed fallopian tubes was the abortion.
Depression and guilt following abortion has lead to suicide. While the actual cause was the abortion, the cause of death listed is suicide. It's impossible to calculate the actual death rates caused by abortion because of the length of time it takes for some of these deaths to occur. Because the death rate is under-reported, the statistics are actually much lower than the reality.
Women will die from pregnancy and abortion. For those who die from abortion, the numbers have drastically reduced in the years since antibiotics became more available. Now, the only difference is that more mothers are dying from legal, rather than illegal, abortions.
We'll talk about the motivation of the abortion mills in a future blog, but for now my message is simply this -- Our daughters are precious and the lives they could potentially carry are equally precious. I saw a bumper sticker once that said "Abortion: One dead, one wounded". It stuck with me because it's so true. I once did some lay counseling for an organization which provided a safe haven for women who experienced unplanned pregnancy. I recall one woman telling me, "After all these years I can't forgive myself for killing my first child". After having three children, she realized that the baby she aborted was, in fact, the same as any one of them. It is no longer taboo to be pregnant out of wedlock. It is no longer shameful to give birth if you are not married. In fact 45% of all babies born last year in the U.S. were born to single mothers. There is no longer any reason to hide in shame simply because of a pregnancy. There are better alternatives than the ones being presented to our children. I, for one, would feel that MY rights were violated if someone performed surgery on one of my children without me knowing about it. Consider these things when you go to the polls in November and vote to respect life.
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