Over the Thanksgiving holiday I found myself at the bookstore having a quiet cup of coffee with my fiance, Joseph. Although I love it, it's been a while since I allowed myself the time to wander through aisles of books and just browse for a while. I came across a book I had read, but forgot about, since I tend to loan books to friends (and sometimes never see them again as they make the rounds). "To Die For" by Kathy Braidhill is a true story which details the crimes of Dana Sue Gray, the first female serial killer convicted in the history of Riverside County, California. I read it a few years ago. It is set in Southwest Riverside County, where I live. It was interesting to read a true story that detailed settings in areas with which I am familiar. It seems a little surreal when you are reading about places you have visited or roads you travel daily, knowing that the person (the murderer) being discussed has visited those same places.
Dana Sue Gray was a nurse. She worked in the post-partum unit of a local hospital. To think of someone taking care of post-partum mothers and newborns and then going out and murdering people is hard to grasp. The fact is, she was discharged from her job, presumably for issues with drugs that were missing from the unit, so there was obviously an underlying problem that perhaps caused her to lose her way and her perspective.
Women have intuition. When I meet someone, I generally have a "gut feeling" about them and I instantly know how I feel about them. I pretty much like everyone and can identify their strengths and qualities. When I worked at Inland Valley Regional Medical Center on the OB unit, I enjoyed my job and had many friends who were nurses. One day, I was introduced to a new nurse. I had a reaction like none I've ever had before. I instantly disliked her. I felt guilty about that at the time. Our nurse manager and I discussed it and she wondered why I felt that way because she liked her. I couldn't explain it, but I asked not to be scheduled to work with this nurse and most of the time I wasn't. When it was necessary to work with her, I avoided her. Her name was Dana Sue Gray. Years later, when I would learn what happened, I remembered my feelings about her. Dana and I shared a workplace and even some friends, but I could never bring myself to like her or even to fake it. When I read this book I realized that we, as women, should never question our intuition. It's there for a reason and it didn't fail me.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Stroller Recall
One million strollers are being recalled by stroller manufacturer Maclaren after many accidents involving a hinge on the side of the stroller. The hinge closes when the child is being put into the stroller or grasps that particular area, and amputates the end of a finger. The strollers were manufactured from 1999 to the present. If you have a stroller by this manufacturer, you should stop using it immediately. If it is a recent purchase, you can return it to the store. Otherwise, contact the Maclaren directly and you will be sent a repair kit.
This is a good time to talk about the purchase of baby items like cribs, strollers, high chairs, etc. We all end up with a few hand me downs, and some of us enjoy finding bargains at flea markets or yard sales. With items like this you have to be very careful that you are not obtaining and item that his been previously recalled or is no longer in good working order. This is a safety issue and very important to remember when you are outfitting your nursery. It may be best to purchase larger items new, so that you get the recall information as soon as possible and you have the ability to return them if there is something wrong.
This is a good time to talk about the purchase of baby items like cribs, strollers, high chairs, etc. We all end up with a few hand me downs, and some of us enjoy finding bargains at flea markets or yard sales. With items like this you have to be very careful that you are not obtaining and item that his been previously recalled or is no longer in good working order. This is a safety issue and very important to remember when you are outfitting your nursery. It may be best to purchase larger items new, so that you get the recall information as soon as possible and you have the ability to return them if there is something wrong.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Birth - An Out Of Body Experience
The last couple of weeks have been busy ones. Usually in life, and in adoption particularly, it seems that the boys generally outnumber the girls, but it's been a good week and we've had two girls born and another one should make her appearance on Thursday this week. We're happy to have any baby God has in store for us, but girls are hard to find for adoptive parents who have a preference, so we're happy we have a few new baby girls in the world. Ironically, those parents who have a preference for baby girls outnumber the parents who have a preference for baby boys. Of course, plenty of adoptive parents don't have a preference, so there is a good match for everyone out there.
Many adoption professionals don't work with families who have a preference, perhaps feeling that if you give birth, you can't choose. However, we feel that as long as a family is willing to take a chance that the sonogram might be wrong and go with flow, we'll work with families who have a gender preference. Most families want a particular gender because they already have one (or more) of the opposite gender. It's understandable that families want the gender they don't have, and with adoptive parents who have been through so much with infertility treatments and perhaps failed pregnancies, it seems only fair that they have an advantage somewhere. It's just important that they know that gender selection can take much longer, since only a small percentage of birth moms are going to know the gender before they match.
This year, there has been a strange phenomena. We've had a few birth moms give birth at home on the floor or in their bed, and not on purpose. It can be very risky when this happens. In one situation, there was a cord looped around the baby's neck -- a very dangerous situation for those who haven't been trained in childbirth and infant resuscitation. This last week, a birth mom in Michigan was at home and everything was perfectly normal. She didn't have labor pains, just a sudden urge to push. Out popped a baby girl and birth mom was alone and had to cut her own cord and call for paramedics. I can't help but think that had to be traumatic with no one there to help, but baby and birth mom are fine.
Of course when babies are born at home without the benefit of a nurse or midwife, there is a greater chance of infection or sepsis, so antibiotics are generally administered in order to keep the infant healthy and stave off infection. Most women who have given birth probably can't imagine this scenario because with first babies, it's not unusual for the pushing alone to take a couple of hours. Average first labors can last around 12 hours.
So, Brian and Bridgette, congratulations and welcome baby Haley! I have a feeling that you may be dealing with a little girl who will get where she wants to go in a hurry. Put on your running shoes! We can't wait to meet her.
Many adoption professionals don't work with families who have a preference, perhaps feeling that if you give birth, you can't choose. However, we feel that as long as a family is willing to take a chance that the sonogram might be wrong and go with flow, we'll work with families who have a gender preference. Most families want a particular gender because they already have one (or more) of the opposite gender. It's understandable that families want the gender they don't have, and with adoptive parents who have been through so much with infertility treatments and perhaps failed pregnancies, it seems only fair that they have an advantage somewhere. It's just important that they know that gender selection can take much longer, since only a small percentage of birth moms are going to know the gender before they match.
This year, there has been a strange phenomena. We've had a few birth moms give birth at home on the floor or in their bed, and not on purpose. It can be very risky when this happens. In one situation, there was a cord looped around the baby's neck -- a very dangerous situation for those who haven't been trained in childbirth and infant resuscitation. This last week, a birth mom in Michigan was at home and everything was perfectly normal. She didn't have labor pains, just a sudden urge to push. Out popped a baby girl and birth mom was alone and had to cut her own cord and call for paramedics. I can't help but think that had to be traumatic with no one there to help, but baby and birth mom are fine.
Of course when babies are born at home without the benefit of a nurse or midwife, there is a greater chance of infection or sepsis, so antibiotics are generally administered in order to keep the infant healthy and stave off infection. Most women who have given birth probably can't imagine this scenario because with first babies, it's not unusual for the pushing alone to take a couple of hours. Average first labors can last around 12 hours.
So, Brian and Bridgette, congratulations and welcome baby Haley! I have a feeling that you may be dealing with a little girl who will get where she wants to go in a hurry. Put on your running shoes! We can't wait to meet her.
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